- Father Timothy Flotsky: So that's your new mother?
- Corinne Tate: Yeah.
- Father Timothy Flotsky: I liked the old one better.
- Corinne Tate: When will you be back? Tim?
- Father Timothy Flotsky: Hopefully never.
- Corinne Tate: What are you talking about?
- Father Timothy Flotsky: If it works, if I'm able to forget about you, Corinne, then they'll transfer me and make me stay away till you're too old to tempt me and I'm too old to care. Goodbye, Corinne.
- Burt Campbell: Invisible? C'mon, Mary! It's ridiculous. Invisible. Whoever heard of anyone being invisible? Unless of course you have the ring of power.
- Mary Campbell: The ring of power? Burt, do you have it?
- Burt Campbell: What?
- Mary Campbell: This ring of power.
- Burt Campbell: Hey, don't be silly.
- Mary Campbell: Well, that's a relief, because for a minute there I thought you were gonna tell me that you had this ring thing that made you invisible.
- [bursts into relieved laughter]
- Burt Campbell: I can be invisible without it.
- Jessica Tate: [turns to woman beside her in airport boarding area] I'm not really too crazy about taking this flight. I saw the pilot go by before. He walked directly into a pillar, tipped his hat, said excuse me, and got on the plane!
- Lady in Airport: Senora, no habla Ingles.
- Jessica Tate: What does that mean in English? See, I don't speak whatever it is you're speaking.
- Benson DuBois: Mrs. Tate, before you go flying down to Rio, I think you should know what happens if you do.
- Jessica Tate: What?
- Benson DuBois: They keep the bail money Mr. Tate put up.
- Jessica Tate: They do?
- Benson DuBois: Which means he loses the house and all the savings, so while you're down there on a conga line he's gonna be up here on a bread line.
- Claire: You're going to sell my apartment? And where am I supposed to live - in the car?
- Chester Tate: No, well, no, because remember I'm selling that.