- Tabitha Stephens: His book is "World of the Occult." You did read it, didn't you?
- Paul Thurston: Well, as much as I could. I kept dropping it I was laughing so hard. This clown actually believes in the three W's: witches, warlocks, and weirdos! Now is that funny or what?
- Tabitha Stephens: A scream.
- Paul Thurston: Doctor, are you trying to tell me and my reasonably intelligent audience that Halloween is for real? That there are actually witches out there cackling and riding around on brooms?
- Dr. Worsmer: Well, we don't really know much about their modes of transportation, but Halloween is an especially important holiday to witches.
- Paul Thurston: Right, just like St. Patrick's Day is very important to leprechauns.
- Marvin Decker, Jr.: [Eyeing with envy Paula's full bag of trick-or-treat candy] Hey, you did real good. How about giving me some?
- Paula: No way!
- [Junior starts stealing fistfuls of candy from her bag]
- Paula: Stay outta there!
- Marvin Decker, Jr.: Aw, c'mon! You're not gonna miss a little!
- Paula: Sucker! You gonna act like a turkey, you're gonna BE one!
- [stamps foot and transforms Junior into a turkey]