- Crypt Keeper: [upon reading "Oliver Twist"] ... What? So where's the twist? And I had such great expectations. Ah, now here's a story you can sink your teeth into. A toothsome tale of tommyrot guaranteed to scare the dickens out of you! Lean in, fright fans. I'm going to let you in on "The Secret."
- Crypt Keeper: Finally, the kid gets the upper hand... or should I say, the upper paw. Just when Mom and Pop were about to satisfy their sweet tooth, Theodore decides to wolf down something besides sweets!
- [laughs]
- Crypt Keeper: Well, that's all for now, kiddies. As one cow said to the other as they headed off to slaughter, "'til next we meat!".
- [laughs]