Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

An Old Flame with a New Wick (2004)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Quotes 

• Charlie : [Alan is looking at a photo of Charlie's old girlfriend, who is now a man]  Just *look* at it.

  Alan : All right. She's cute... very tall... broad shoulders...

  [suddenly realizes, and screams] 

  Alan : Holy Mother of God!

  Charlie : Welcome to the Matrix.

• Alan : [after meeting Bill/Jill]  Nice guy. Poker buddy?

  Charlie : Yeah, I used to. And don't call me 'buddy'.