Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [came down the stairs, short dress, low cleavage]  Can I have some money to go shopping?

  Jack Malloy : Of course, sweetheart. Here.

  [hands over big amount eagerly] 

  Jennie Malloy : Hey, how come she gets money and I don't?

  Tiffany Malloy : Maybe Daddy just loves me better.

  Jack Malloy : Nah, nah, nah. I love you both the same.

  [they both rush towards his arms, Jennie is first, but she gets rejected, it is Tiffany that gets the hug, Jennie gets nothing] 

  Jennie Malloy : [pickpocketing Jack as he hugs Tiffany]  Keep your stinking money. All I want is your lousy credit card.

• Jennie Malloy : Hey, Tiffany, what do you say, you and I go shopping together?

  Tiffany Malloy : With my mother? It's bad enough you were present at my birth.

  Jennie Malloy : [tuts]  Aw, honey, come on! It will give me a chance to steal the labels out of all the designer clothes, and make my Price Plus gowns designer originals.

  Tiffany Malloy : [grandmother enters, wearing ridiculous gown]  My God, Grandma, what on earth are you wearing?

  Maureen Slattery : I don't know. Your mother bought it for me.

  [decides to show off] 

  Maureen Slattery : It's an Armani. Check the label.

• Jennie Malloy : Hey, honey, come shopping with your hip-and-happening mother,

  [cartoon character voice:] 

  Jennie Malloy : and let's bargain our buns off!

  Tiffany Malloy : Hey, Mom, I'm not going into any store with bins. Besides, they spy on you in the dressing rooms of those places. Every time I change my clothes, I hear applause from behind the mirror.

  [preens, checking out herself before leaving house, audience reacting with applause and wolf-whistles, causing her to rush off] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Are you listening? I heard it again!

• Jack Malloy : [in cell, with whole family come to visit]  Here to bail me out?

  Jennie Malloy : Yeah. Like I got $10 000. But, Jack, I wouldn't pay it if it was $10. This is a matter of principle! This is about our rights as Americans! Little by little, they've taken our freedom. I mean, how can they charge you to park at a public street that our taxes paid for? I remember a time in this country when there were no parking meters.

  Tiffany Malloy : [smirking]  I bet you also remember a time in this country when the common mode of transportation was the covered wagon.

  Jennie Malloy : [to Tiffany]  And I also remember a time in America when you could slug your kid and it was called discipline, not abuse! And when you went to the movies, they used to get right to the good stuff, the cartoons and the coming attractions.

  [to prisoners] 

  Jennie Malloy : Remember that night you went to the movies and the curtain rises and there for the first time is a commercial for the LA Times? Oh, we all booed and booed, convinced that nobody would accept commercials at the movies! But soon enough the boos died away and so did the American spirit. All we got was more commercials and that stupid THX. The audience isn't listening to a thing.

  [goes into a frenzy] 

  Jennie Malloy : The audience is not listening! They're yelling "Start that damn movie!" Nobody can hear 'em because George Lucas is just

  [voice goes like cartoon character:] 

  Jennie Malloy : too loudly patting himself on the back.

  [mimicking that] 

  Jennie Malloy : What has happened to this country? You can't drive a car without a seat-belt, you can't ride a motorcycle without a helmet, you can't even have a couple of drinks and drive yourself home, and you sure can't park in front of the fire hydrant,

  [cartoon voice again:] 

  Jennie Malloy : because you're just gonna get a ticket! Well, Jack, they can lock you up and throw away the key, but they're not gonna take my freedom. I'll let you rot in here if it will keep them from destroying America! I want our country back!

  prisoner 1 : I want better food!

  prisoner 2 : I want a better mattress!

  prisoner 3 : I want the boy!