Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

The Temptation of Jack (1996)

Bobcat Goldthwait: Mr. Floppy

Quotes 

• Mr. Floppy : Is this girl like you'd expect for Ryan?

  Jack Malloy : Oh no, she's a real knockout.

  Mr. Floppy : [with irony]  Well, Jack, I trust your taste. You're the chick-meister.

  [dripping sarcasm:] 

  Mr. Floppy : We've all seen the missus.

• Mr. Floppy : [last lines, reading fan mail]  'Where can I get a Mr. Pooch-Pants? He's the cutest, fluffiest doll I've ever seen, and in my opinion, would have made a better alter ego for Jack. Signed, Ellen S.' Wait a minute, I recognize this handwriting! Yeah, nice try, Pooch-Pants! I got this part fair and square, I didn't need to sleep with the producers. Face it, Poochie, the best bunny won! So get over it! See you in the sales bin!

  [taunting:] 

  Mr. Floppy : Sucker!

• Mr. Floppy : [down in the basement, watching TV, Savannah is on]  No, Peyton, don't listen to him! Don't kiss him, Peyton! Don't sleep with him, he's your father!

  [Jack enters] 

  Mr. Floppy : Savannah has moved to Mondays. Sorry, Cybil, we're going to the WB!