- [after landing in a lake]
- Jeffrey Jones: I don't care what you say. The Omni needs a 60 zillion mile check-up.
- Phineas Bogg: Quit complaining. We almost missed the lake. Didn't we?
- Jeffrey Jones: Almost? Funny, I don't feel almost wet. I feel soaked!
- Jeffrey Jones: [reads the back of a boxer's shirt] Brown Bomber. You know who that is?
- Phineas Bogg: Are you kidding? That's Joe Louis, Heavyweight champ. Maybe the best there ever was.
- Jeffrey Jones: Hey! I thought you said you were at the bottom of your class.
- Phineas Bogg: And Light Heavyweight champ of my boxing team. This is my kind of history.
- Jeffrey Jones: [just arrived on a 747] Hey, look, right in mid-air. We never did this before.
- Phineas Bogg: What'd you go and Omni us out for?
- [refers to his boxing opponent]
- Phineas Bogg: I was psyching him out.
- Jeffrey Jones: Look, I don't like the sight of blood. Okay? Especially yours.
- Phineas Bogg: [Phineas is sparring with Joe Louis and knocks him down with one punch] I couldn't do that again if my life depended on it!
- Jeffrey Jones: Stay tuned. It may.