WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Dear Liar (1982)

Richard Sanders: Les Nessman

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [with Johnny in the control booth with him, Les is delivering one of his commentaries on the air] 

  Les Nessman : And so, the delicate balance of the ecology is about to be upset again. And that which we have always taken for granted may no longer be. I refer of course to the lowly rutabaga. Experts predict that within this century, the rutabaga will disappear from the national diet. And why you ask?

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [emphatically]  Why?

  Les Nessman : Consumer disinterest, apathy, and in some cases, believe it or not, open contempt.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [emphatically]  No!

  Les Nessman : And how did we arrive at this pretty pass?

  Dr. Johnny Fever : Tell us, Les.

  Les Nessman : There is no swede for my gloves off, no holds barred commentary. Rutabaga: the vanishing vegetable.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [grabbing his face in mock horror before raising his arms to God then grabbing Les in passion]  Say Hallelujah, brother! I believe!

  Les Nessman : Hallelujah!

• Les Nessman : Okay, what do you want? The sky's the limit.

  Bailey Quarters : Nothing.

  Les Nessman : I'll give you... ten dollars!

  Bailey Quarters : Les!

  Les Nessman : Thirteen fifty.

• Herb Tarlek : [after making Les jump with his joy buzzer]  I'll tell you what. I'll be thinking of you poor working stiffs while I'm whooping it up in Acron, okay?

  [pats Bailey on the shoulder, another buzz by the joker, laughs heartily as he goes out the office] 

  Bailey Quarters : [smiles]  I think whooping is against the law in Acron.

  [Les is heavily engrossed in his notions for his thwarted rutabaga scoop] 

  Bailey Quarters : Something wrong, Les?

  Les Nessman : I'm working on something really important. It's going to be this year's entry for the Buck-eyed Newshound competition. And Andy wants me on some depressing... hospital story.

  Bailey Quarters : Well, I'll do it.

  Les Nessman : You're not ready for field reporting.

  Bailey Quarters : [rises]  Who's not ready?

  Les Nessman : I just meant It's a... pretty dull story, that's all.

  Bailey Quarters : There are no dull stories, only dull reporters.

  Les Nessman : That's true. Well, you know what, Bailey? Why don't you write something up, and I'll, uh, look it over. If it's good enough, maybe I'll let you do it on the air.

  [hands over the assignment] 

  Bailey Quarters : [glances at the notes, pleased by the content]  Good enough? Well, this will be the best darn story you ever saw.

  Les Nessman : [deviously]  We'll see.

  Bailey Quarters : Thank you, Les. You won't be sorry. Just wait till you read it. You're gonna love it.

  [dashes out the office] 

• Les Nessman : My tour of the wards was something I'll not soon forget. Everywhere I looked were young faces, filled with promise, that will not be realized. Dreams, that will never come true.

  Les Nessman : But the event that summed up the experience for this reporter came as I was about to leave. I felt a tug on my skirt. At, at my shirt. And looked down into the face of a little boy named Bobby. He's ten years old, and unable to speak. But he reached up, and handed me a picture he had drawn. A crude rendering, of a flower.

• Les Nessman : It's difficult to describe the feelings this reporter had, as he walked through the pens. But I felt a tug on my pant leg. And I looked down, into the face of Harold, a little razorback hog, blind since birth.