Graham Crowden: Tom

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Diana : Oh, God!

  Tom : What's that?

  Diana : I just said: Oh, God.

  Tom : Ah. Oh, God.

  Diana : Mmm.

  Tom : About time of course.

  Diana : What?

  Tom : About time you appealed to the Almighty.

  Diana : Oh, God.

  Tom : He probably got *that* bit.

  Diana : I was not making an appeal to some dubious and probably fictional deity; I was merely saying: oh, God.

  Tom : Oh.

  Diana : God!

• Jenny : Mr Bains asked if he could have a word with you after lunch, as representatives of the inmates... I mean the residents.

  Diana : What about?

  Tom : Probably a new economy drive. Wants to shoot one in five of us.

  Jenny : Or the Summer Fête.

  Tom : Ah, yes, the fête worse than death.

• Diana Trent : When you talk to God, why do you look into the treetops? Is God a squirrel?

  Tom : No, he's not a squirrel. You mustn't blaspheme.

  Diana Trent : I just don't believe in God.

  Tom : He's probably got fairly severe reservations about you, too.

• Tom : Good heavens, someone die? Of course not. We'd have shared out the extra cornflakes at breakfast.