- Drew Carey: [before "Duet"] Phyllis, you're in for a treat, 'cause these guys are gonna sing to you as The Bee Gees. Uh...
- [Phyllis says, "As what?"]
- Chip Esten: [to Phyllis] The Bee Gees.
- Drew Carey: The Bee Gees were a hit rock band when you were seventy- in the seventies.
- [audience laughs/boos]
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "The shortest book ever written."
- Chip Esten: British Dentistry.
- Wayne Brady: The Life and Times of Gary Coleman.
- Ryan Stiles: Drew Carey's Acting Tips.
- Drew Carey: [derisively] "Drew Carey's Acting Tips. Drew Carey's Acting Tips."
- Ryan Stiles: See?
- Drew Carey: I hope you like the inside of your trailer.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Whose Line"] You listen to what I'm about to say to you, and you listen good, mister:
- [reading pre-written note]
- Colin Mochrie: "Let's get naked and wrestle!"
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Whose Line", a scene from Robin Hood] When my mother died, she told me to search for happiness and...
- [reads pre-written note]
- Colin Mochrie: "Stand back, this baby's gonna blow."
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Whose Line", a scene from Robin Hood] As we walk up to the friar, I'll look in your eyes and say "Marian, I love you so much.
- [reading pre-written note]
- Ryan Stiles: There's more than one way to stuff a turkey."
- [audience cheers]
- Ryan Stiles: And I'm putting the giblets on your plate.
- Colin Mochrie: I love it when you talk poultry!
- Drew Carey: [after "Whose Line"] A thousand points to Ryan, because I've always wanted to tell him...
- [reads pre-written note]
- Drew Carey: "Your mother is the best stripper in Vegas."
- Ryan Stiles: It bought her a house.