Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 515 (2002)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drew Carey : The points are just like steak sauce in India.

  [audience laughs] 

  Ryan Stiles : Someone's been workin' overtime.

• Drew Carey : [before "Superheroes"]  One of my favorite guys in the whole wide world, Colin Mochrie, is gonna start.

  [audience cheers] 

  Drew Carey : Never meet a nicer man. Uh, we need a superhero name for Colin.

  [audience members shout suggestions; two are heard over the rest: "Stinky Man! Stinky Man!" Colin notices and looks annoyed] 

  Drew Carey : We have two women up there yellin' Stinky Man as loud as they can. Really hopin' to get Stinky Man in there, so you are...

  Ryan Stiles : [interrupting]  I love that: "Couldn't be a nicer guy in the whole world." "STINKY MAN!"

• Drew Carey : [in "Scenes from a Hat"]  "The Munchkins: What are they doing now?"

  Wayne Brady : [singing]  Well...

  [talking] 

  Wayne Brady : your fries are ready. I'm a short order cook!

  Ryan Stiles : [on his knees, looking up]  Eh, looks like you need a new muffler.

  Wayne Brady : [miming speaking into a microphone]  In this corner, the Mayor of the Lollipop Guild. In this corner, Gary Coleman. Fight!

  Ryan Stiles : [on his knees, miming popping out from underneath a desk]  You forgot to give points, Mr. Carey.

• Drew Carey : [after "Party Quirks"]  A thousand points to you guys, that was great. Thousand points a piece.

  [audience cheers] 

  Drew Carey : [Drew leans to the side of his desk and coughs] 

  Wayne Brady : Drew, you...?

  Drew Carey : [sits up]  Fuck, man...

  Ryan Stiles : He's chokin' on a hundred dollar bill!

  Drew Carey : Oh my God.

  Chip Esten : Tombstone.

  Ryan Stiles : It was too rich for him.

  Drew Carey : I almost choked... I almost choked to death on an Altoid.

  Ryan Stiles : Really. Well, they ARE curiously strong.

  Drew Carey : [sarcastic]  "Ha ha, he almost died. Ha ha ha."

  [Chip laughs] 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Showstopping Number"] 

  [singing] 

  Ryan Stiles : I'm tired of pokin' holes in these things, / It doesn't ring, ring-a-ding dings. / Didn't get the suggestion, we almost didn't get the hint, / 'Cause Drew almost choked on an Altoid mint!

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Showstopping Number", set in a factory]  This is boring. I wish something would come along that would just brighten up our day. Some change in routine.

  Ryan Stiles : Oh, what's the odds of THAT happening?

  Colin Mochrie : I don't know.

  Wayne Brady : [enters]  Hello!

  Colin Mochrie : Hey, who are you? What's going on? Are you exciting?

  Wayne Brady : Mm-hmm!

  Ryan Stiles : Is she EVER!

  Colin Mochrie : [mimes taking off glasses]  Oh, yeah, you're a girl!

  Wayne Brady : Hello, both of you. I am the... Hole-in-Things Fairy.

  Ryan Stiles : The Hole-in-Thing Fairy! My dad used to speak about her.

  Colin Mochrie : I thought she was only a legend.

  Wayne Brady : No. I travel everywhere, putting holes in things and choosing people to be my minions to go along with me and put holes in things.

  [mimes touching things with a magic wand] 

  Ryan Stiles : This sounds like the escape we've been waiting for!

  Colin Mochrie : Hey, why do you put holes in things?

  Wayne Brady : Why?

  Colin Mochrie : Yeah, that's what I said: Why?

  Wayne Brady : Because! Without a hole, where would you be?

  [Drew buzzes; the music starts] 

  Wayne Brady : [singing]  Without a hole, where would you be? / No place for NNNHHH! and no place for the pee! / What would you do? Oh man, / Having holes is part of the plan. / I love holes in every size, / and when I turn around, there's a big surprise, / I love my holes, it's the bomb, / If I stand on my head, it spells out "mom"!

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Showstopping Number"]  It's not just the cheese, it's everything we make here. We gotta specialize in one thing. We got too many things going here.

  Colin Mochrie : What are you talking about? Cheese is our life?

  [buzzer sounds, music begins] 

  Colin Mochrie : [singing]  Cheese is our life/ I wish I could make it my wife/ I'd take it to bed/ We'd sleep until we're dead/ Oh, boy, I love cheese!

  Ryan Stiles : That's true. I'm tired of poking holes in these things.

  [buzzer sounds, music begins again] 

  Ryan Stiles : [singing]  I'm tired of poking holes in these things/ Doesn't ring/ Ring-a-ding-dings/ Didn't get the suggestion/ We almost didn't get the hint/ 'Cause Drew almost choked on an Altoid mint