- Jack McFarland: ['Valley Girl' voice] Uh, Mr. Truman, I hope you don't mind, but I, like, brought my girlfriend Valerie here so we can make out.
- Jack McFarland: [About naming the puppy] I was thinking something more along the lines of... "Jack."
- Will Truman: Hmmm... Let me think. "Jack, quit licking that man's face." See? He'd never know who I was talking to.
- Jack McFarland: [Sarcastically] Ohh! My side! Ohh!
- Will Truman: [after Jack and Karen have come to babysit the puppy] Oh yeah, I feel good about this. We're leaving our puppy with Cruella DeVil...
- [pause]
- Will Truman: and Karen.