Women of the House (TV Series)

Guess Who's Sleeping in Lincoln's Bed? (1995)

Delta Burke: Suzanne Sugarbaker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : You know what they're gonna say, don't ya? They're gonna say, "President Taft, the fattest man who ever lived in the White House slept in Lincoln's bed, but it took Suzanne Sugarbaker to break it!"

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : I don't care if you're walking down the runway at Miss America or sitting around the Oval Office, nothing will make people turn on you faster than having big, white thighs! And this I know for a fact.

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Suzanne, having dinner with the President is an opportunity only about 1 in 250 million Americans is ever given. I don't think we can afford to make a mistake here.

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Excuse me, Natty, but trust me when I tell you this is one thing you do not have to worry about. Just for your information, I have personally hosted over 200 dinner parties while traveling the beauty pageant circuit.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : You know, I have never known anyone like you. It's like your only frame of reference is these beauty pageants, like you were born in that little glass isolation booth in Atlantic City.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : Well, that was Jamie Farr. You know, he used to play Klinger on M*A*S*H. You can put a star next to his name on the guest list, Malone!

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Oh, isn't that wonderful? Now all we need to invite is Mr. Ed and our sitcom contingent will be complete.

  Sissy Emerson : Come on, Natty. I'm sick and tired of hearing about how terrible it would be if someone who worked on a sitcom could have dinner with the President. A sitcom is nothing but a little play and, if you ask me, some of them are pretty damn good. In fact, M*A*S*H was better written, more enlightening and entertaining than half the things I've seen at The Kennedy Center or on Broadway.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Oh, who rattled your chain?

  Sissy Emerson : No one. It's just that I've been sober for several weeks now and apparently I'm starting to sound more intelligent.