- Aunt Muriel: [as Kevin dances with Muriel] Ooh, your arms are so strong. I bet you could pick me up like a feather.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: Sure, one of those rare 180 pound feathers!
- Aunt Muriel: You wanna try?
- Kevin Arnold: No! No, I better not.
- Aunt Muriel: Why don't you lead for a while?
- Kevin Arnold: Uh, actually I gotta go. Thanks for the dance though.
- Aunt Muriel: Sure thing, lamb chop.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And I guess that's when I realised a couple of things. One; I just lost out to a guy in a really bad Tux...
- Kevin Arnold: [to Linda and her date] I better be going now.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: ...and two; for sixteen years I'd taken standing up for granted.
- [Kevin stumbles after drinking a bottle of champagne]
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And then, just as things looked hopeless; a miracle. Suddenly nothing stood between me and destiny...
- Aunt Muriel: [stepping across Kevin's path] There you are, handsome!
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: ...nothing but Mrs Robinson's stunt double.
- Aunt Muriel: Is it time for my dance yet?
- Kevin Arnold: Uh...
- [Muriel pushes Kevin towards the dance floor]
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: [after the groom's heartfelt speech] It was a testament to romance at it's finest and most pure. It was a declaration of virtue, simple and gracious and real. And after a day of infidelities, some proposed and planned, some more subtle, I felt for the first time that someone believed in something a little different. In love, in commitment...
- Arthur Jensen: Alright!
- [to Norma]
- Arthur Jensen: You ready?
- Jack Arnold: Arthur?
- Arthur Jensen: Yeah?
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: ...in each other.
- Jack Arnold: If you don't get your arm off my wife, I'm gonna break it off.
- Arthur Jensen: Jack, what...?
- Jack Arnold: [to Norma] Come on. Let's dance.
- Arthur Jensen: Jack?
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: It almost made me glad to be there.
- Kevin Arnold: That was a really nice speech, huh? You know, the stuff about love, and that whole part about waiting.
- Wayne Arnold: Maybe he waited, but... she didn't.
- Kevin Arnold: You? Where?
- Wayne Arnold: At a wedding.
- [smiles and raises a glass to the bride, who looks over uncomfortably at Wayne]