- John Colton: Do your realize the serious nature of the charge against this woman?
- Yancy Derringer: I realize that this young woman is incapable of hurting a fly. And if you're going to prove that this woman is smuggling opium, you've got a long way to go.
- Yancy Derringer: Mei Ling, you're still in big trouble, but I want you to do something for me. Send a telegram to your Tong cousin, Hon Lee, in San Francisco. Explain to him the plight that you're in and tell him that I'm coming to help you.
- Jody Barker: Oh, now wait a minute, Yancy. If his skirts ain't clean, you're beggin' for a hatchet in the head!
- Miss Mandarin: My cousin is a most honorable gentleman.
- Jody Barker: Honorable enough to stake Yancy's neck on?
- Hon Lee: Mr. Derringer, he who knows little lives long.
- Yancy Derringer: Yes, and he who quote Chinese proverbs avoids answers.
- Yancy Derringer: Oh, by the way, your cousin is alive and well, despite the fact that you neglected to ask.
- Hon Lee: My humble apologies.
- Yancy Derringer: And she said you were an honorable gentleman.
- Hon Lee: Most kind of her.
- Yancy Derringer: Well, I'll tell her she's wrong - on both counts.
- Blackjack Benson: Look, little fella, let me give you a piece of my mind, 'cause it looks like you need it. If you go back into Chinatown, they're gonna skewer you like a water chestnut and peel you like a lychee nut. Those were Tong men on your trail. What have done to them?
- Yancy Derringer: Asked the wrong questions.
- Blackjack Benson: A fella doesn't even ask the right ones down there.
- Yancy Derringer: You're a liar.
- Blackjack Benson: Listen, little fella, I may not always tell the truth, but I never lie.
- Yancy Derringer: Is that a poker game over there?
- Blackjack Benson: It certainly is. Care to sit in?
- Yancy Derringer: It would be my pleasure.
- Blackjack Benson: Well, you join 'em and I'll watch to see who palms the aces.
- Hon Lee: So sorry, Miss Jessie. He got away.
- Alex Bristol: You mean Derringer?
- Jessie Belle: Yes, his name is Derringer.
- Hon Lee: He killed one of my men. He's a very dangerous man.
- Jessie Belle: And I'm a very dangerous woman, Fong; you remember that. One more slip from you and you'll be breathing water at the bottom of the bay!
- [Yancy is playing in a high-stakes poker game with several ships' captains]
- Yancy Derringer: Well, I'll just have to call you, Captain Brown.
- Captain Brown: Three little mermaids.
- Yancy Derringer: Beats my three nines.
- Jessie Belle: How goes the battle, Mr. Derringer?
- Yancy Derringer: I'm being scuttled.
- Jessie Belle: Make a drink for Mr. Derringer - with a nightcap so he sleeps well. Better make one for me, too, so it will look good... without the trimmings.
- [pointing to Blackjack's enormous companion]
- Yancy Derringer: Who's that?
- Blackjack Benson: Why, that's my baby brother. That's Wee Willie Benson.
- Yancy Derringer: Baby brother?
- Wee Willie Benson: Nice meeting you alive, Mr. Derringer.
- Yancy Derringer: Blackjack, I know you rob stagecoaches between here and the Comstock, but don't you do something else... something that's got more of the air of the truth in it?
- Blackjack Benson: Willie and I are special investigators for the Customs Department.
- Blackjack Benson: Smuggling in over five tons of opium using the old firecrackers to get their inspection seals, just like you switched those drinks.
- Yancy Derringer: [referring to the unconscious Jessie] Oh, she'll just have a bad head.
- Blackjack Benson: She's gonna have a stretched neck.
- [last lines]
- Blackjack Benson: All right, Willie, let's clean up in here. Then Yancy's gonna buy us a drink. Right, little fella?
- Yancy Derringer: ...Right.
- Blackjack Benson: C'mon, let's move!