- Nancy Krieger Weston: Okay, we can do this. I am sure that we can do this. Okay, release the shutoff valve.
- [turning a knob]
- Nancy Krieger Weston: Okay. Now, what we've got to do...
- Hope Murdoch Steadman: You force it. You force it, you bang it, you swear, and then you call a professional. I learned that from Michael.
- Elliot Weston: She won't call.
- Michael Steadman: She'll call.
- Elliot Weston: No, she won't.
- Michael Steadman: All right, she won't.
- Elliot Weston: See?
- Michael Steadman: Elliot, she's busy. She's working. Give her a break. There's a lot of herniated discs out there. Ow, Elliot. Do you have to clip your fingernails in here?
- Elliot Weston: [having spilled his lunch on his shirt] Oh, no. Why do we eat these things?
- Michael Steadman: Because they're bad for us. Because... because Philadelphia is famous for its cheesesteak.
- Elliot Weston: Yeah, but these are my day clothes, Michael. I've ruined it.
- Michael Steadman: It's not a problem, Elliot. Watch this. Watch this.
- Elliot Weston: What are you doing?
- Michael Steadman: [taking a piece of Scotch tape and folding it over itself] It's not a problem. I know something about clothes. Watch this.
- [taping Elliot's tie over the stain]
- Michael Steadman: Look. She'll never notice.
- Elliot Weston: [sarcastic] Looks really natural, too.
- Elliot Weston: What's wrong? You actually look glad to see me.
- Nancy Krieger Weston: No.
- Elliot Weston: Well, that makes me feel better.
- Elliot Weston: [Ellyn is setting him up on a blind date] Have you ever been, like, fixed up?
- Michael Steadman: Once.
- Elliot Weston: Was it terrible?
- Michael Steadman: Oh, it was horrible.
- Elliot Weston: What was it, did she have, like, a mustache, what?
- Michael Steadman: Yeah, it was a big thick one. I made her shave it, then I married her.
- Elliot Weston: Forgot about that. So, Michael, come on. So, what? Do you think it's too soon?
- Michael Steadman: Do you?
- Elliot Weston: Do you?
- Michael Steadman: Do you?