Coupling (TV Series)

The Cupboard of Patrick's Love (2000)

Ben Miles: Patrick Maitland

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve : Sex doesn't just have to be an animal act, you know. It's like a meeting of two people, a conversation.

  Patrick : What, you mean face to face?

• Sally : You really don't have enough blood for both ends of your body, do you?

  Patrick : And that's a guarantee.

• Steve : Jeff, a water closet is a toilet. Are you actually trying to cheer me up by saying that there are plenty of fish in the toilet?

  Patrick : I think what Jeff is trying to say is that there are plenty of fish in the toilet... of love!

• Steve : [the men are in the pub talking about screen nudity]  Britt Ekland!

  Patrick : Oh, oh, oh... Britt! Britt Ekland spells naked!

  Steve : Can I just mention the film..."The Wicker Man"?

  Patrick : The dance in the hotel room?

  Steve : Birth of my libido!

  Jeff : Mine too!

  Patrick : It was on the other night. I think I taped it.

  Jeff : Let's all go to Patrick's.

  Steve : No, no, no! I was only six. I had seen parts of Britt Ekland I couldn't even name!

  Jeff : I was seven. I didn't realize television could do that! I started watching it all day every day, just in case it did it again.

  Steve : I'm with you on that one.

  Jeff : My parents thought I was in love with the TV set.

  Patrick : 'Cause you were watching it all the time?

  Jeff : Well... yeah.

  Steve : With you there,too.

  Jeff : But also, I'd get aroused the moment it was switched on. You know, even if it was just the news or "Doctor Who".

  Steve : Okay, not quite so with you now.

  Jeff : One day... one day I lost control in front of my whole family during "Songs of Praise".

  Steve : Lost control?

  Jeff : Completely rubbed off the television.

  Steve : Sorry... so you're telling us that, as a young child, and despite the obvious electrical dangers, you sexually assaulted the television during "Songs of Praise"?

  Patrick : Is... is that what happened to your hair?