- Robert Barone: If you didn't hit my car then how did all the black and white paint get on yours?
- Frank Barone: I hit a penguin!
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: How did you get the keys back from mom?
- Frank Barone: That was not pleasant. But I found the remote.
- Debra Barone: What happened?
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: He passed!
- Debra Barone: HE PASSED? J-Just the writen part.
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: No. EVERYTHING. The driving, the turning, the seeing.
- Debra Barone: What kind of government is THIS!
- Ray Barone: What's going on?
- Frank Barone: Supercop, here, wants to give me a ticket.
- Robert Barone: I don't want to. I have to.
- Frank Barone: He's got a quota to fill.
- Robert Barone: You hit my squad car!
- Frank Barone: I don't care if I killed a guy! You're my son, you have to look the other way! Am I right, Ray?
- Ray Barone: Dad, whatever you do, I want to look the other way.
- Debra Barone: Ray. Listen, I've decided that I don't want Frank driving the kids anymore.
- Ray Barone: What?
- Debra Barone: I don't want him driving the kids. Makes me uncomfortable.
- Robert Barone: Because of the swearing?
- Debra Barone: Because of the driving! He's not a safe driver.
- Ray Barone: Yeah, well I don't think I can tell him that he can't drive his own grandkids around.
- Debra Barone: Why not? He's too aggressive.
- Ray Barone: That's why I can't tell him.
- Debra Barone: [astonished as Frank's renewed drivers license] The problem is he has the State of New York behind him now.
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: Yeah well, they better not try to pass him cause he'll flip 'em off.
- Frank Barone: [to Robert about traffic incident] What ever I do, I'm your father, you should look the other way!
- Frank Barone: [to Ray] Right?
- Ray Barone: Dad, what *ever* you do, I look the other way.