- Robert Barone: [as Timmy] Marie is it? Ok hi Marie. Can you tell me what you should do before backing out of the driveway?
- Marie Barone: Well you fasten your seatbelt.
- Robert Barone: Okay?
- Marie Barone: You check your mirrors.
- Robert Barone: Correct.
- Marie Barone: You look to the left and to the right. You look behind you.
- Robert Barone: Anything else?
- Marie Barone: No I think that's it.
- Robert Barone: Oh you think that's it? She thinks that's it
- Robert Barone: [he begins to talk as himself] Isn't that everything Timmy?
- Robert Barone: [as Timmy] Oh sure that's it except making sure your first born child is in the car before you pull out of a gas station in New Mexico!
- Ray Barone: I don't know. That's awfully specific.
- Marie Barone: Robbie that was thirty years ago.
- Robert Barone: [as himself] I don't have a problem with it.
- Debra Barone: Uh-oh.
- [Robert's doing mock traffic class with Ray, Debra, Marie, and Frank]
- Robert Barone: Now I would like you to tell us what offense led you to be here today. Lets start with... Raymond.
- Ray Barone: ...I killed my brother.
- Robert Barone: Traffic offense.
- Ray Barone: Oh, oh, can you go lie down on the driveway for a minute?
- Robert Barone: [as Timmy] Frank can you tell me what is the proper following distance?
- Frank Barone: Well if the guy is going really slow I like to be right on his butt. So if he looks back he can read my lips.
- Robert Barone: [as himself] No Dad the correct answer is one car length per ten miles of speed.
- Robert Barone: [as Timmy] Yeah remind me never to drive with you. Ya crazy old bastard!