- Charlie Harper: Well, I've always said a 22-year-old girl is like a good carpenter: no wood gets wasted.
- Jake Harper: [to Alan] So, what's a "booty call"?
- Charlie Harper: I figured you didn't want *me* telling him. Was I wrong?
- Alan Harper: [Jake is hiding in the bathroom] Well, wait a second. Why did you take vitamins?
- Jake Harper: I was tired.
- Alan Harper: Okay. But, where did you find vitamins to take?
- Jake Harper: In your medicine cabinet.
- Alan Harper: I don't have any vitamins in my medicine cabinet.
- Jake Harper: Yeah, you do. The little blue ones with a 'V' on them.
- Charlie Harper: Ooooooooh.
- Judith Harper: What's going on? I don't understand.
- Berta: The kid's gonna need another party hat.