- Candice Muir: But how can you cook food without any gas?
- Martha Grant: Well, for the next few days, we'll throw out all recipes that require hot food. If it goes on longer than that, we'll throw out all recipes that require food.
- [before hunting for the treasure together, Jonathan insists Claymore take an oath]
- Jonathan Muir: Repeat after me: I promise to keep this a secret...
- Claymore Gregg: I promise to keep this a secret...
- Jonathan Muir: ...or witches will stick pins in me...
- Claymore Gregg: ...or witches will stick pins in me...
- Jonathan Muir: ...and snakes will crawl all over me, especially my ears...
- Claymore Gregg: ...and snakes will crawl all over me, especially my ears...
- Jonathan Muir: ...and be boiled in a pot of lizards' gizzards.
- Claymore Gregg: ...and I'll be boiled in a pot of lizards' gizzards.
- Jonathan Muir: Okay, you can start digging.
- Claymore Gregg: Oh, what a dreadful experience.
- Martha Grant: [finding Claymore and Jonathan digging up the walkway] What are you two doing?
- Claymore Gregg: [startled out of his fantasy with a secretary] Oh, ha-ha, just a little dictation and typing.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: If there is one thing I'm not, it's sweet. You really got to watch your language.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: My dear madam, would you be of a mind to back that dream with something a little more concrete than words, say, a five dollar wager?
- Carolyn Muir: You've got yourself a bet, Captain., That's in American money, not rusted sovereigns.
- [explosion above]
- Carolyn Muir: What was that? Sounds like it's coming from the attic.
- Martha Grant: Either that's the water heater coming to life or it's about to end ours.
- [Scruffy barks and growls at Claymore]
- Claymore Gregg: I guess my toolbox frightens him.
- Jonathan Muir: Not as much as he frightens you.
- Claymore Gregg: Don't be ridiculous. Nothing frightens me.
- Jonathan Muir: I know something that frightens you.
- Claymore Gregg: [laughs] Uh, say, Jonathan...
- Claymore Gregg: [to Scruffy] Pardon me.
- Claymore Gregg: [to Jonathan] Does everything, uh, seem to be all right around here lately? Anything, uh... unusual... going on?
- Jonathan Muir: You mean besides no hot water?
- Claymore Gregg: Yes.
- Jonathan Muir: And strange noises?
- Claymore Gregg: Yes.
- Jonathan Muir: And mysterious happenings?
- Claymore Gregg: Yes.
- Jonathan Muir: And chains clanking?
- Claymore Gregg: Yes.
- Jonathan Muir: No. You better watch your step.
- Martha Grant: Breaks my heart to see that poor little plucked chicken sitting in a pot of cold water with its legs crossed, freezing to death.
- Carolyn Muir: Better the chicken isn't plucked. The feathers will keep it warm.
- [Daniel sits as Carolyn tries to fix the water heater]
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: I'm a sea captain, not a plumber.
- Carolyn Muir: You don't know HOW to fix it.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: What I meant was that, as a sea captain, there are certain tasks that are beneath my dignity to perform. Do I make myself clear?
- Carolyn Muir: Perfectly. You don't know how.
- Capt. Daniel Gregg: For the life of me I cannot understand why a ship is always referred to in the female gender. A ship is responsive to commands. A female is obstinate. A ship is reliable. A female is erratic and capricious. A ship has its own unique qualities. A female is just like any other female. Madam, I withdraw that. You are not like other females. You are unique.
- Carolyn Muir: Thank you... I think.