The Simpsons (TV Series)

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (1994)

Hank Azaria: Chief Wiggum, Superintendant Chalmers, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Luigi Risotto, Colonel, Hillbilly #2

Quotes 

• Principal Skinner : Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."

  Apu : Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through...

  [fade to later] 

  Apu : ... it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had...

  [later] 

  Apu : ... one of the most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?

  [pause] 

  Apu : I mean, thank you, come again.

• Superintendent Chalmers : Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children!

• Ned Flanders : Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful day.

  Superintendent Chalmers : "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion.

• Superintendent Chalmers : Seymour.

  Principal Skinner : Hmm?

  Superintendent Chalmers : You're fired!

  Principal Skinner : I'm sorry, did... did you just call me a liar?

  Superintendent Chalmers : No, I said you were fired.

  Principal Skinner : Oh. That's much worse.

• Superintendent Chalmers : [Burst door open]  SKINNER!

• Bart Simpson : [after learning that Skinner has re-enlisted in the army]  Table for one.

  Luigi Risotto : Oh, you miss your friend, huh? Don't you worry. My cooking, she'll-a cheer you up.

  [shows Bart to a table and returns to the kitchen] 

  Luigi Risotto : Eh, Salvatore! Give-a the ugly kid a platter o' red crap!