The Simpsons (TV Series)

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (1994)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney

Quotes 

• [Bart is making a show-and-tell presentation] 

  Bart Simpson : What has four legs and ticks?

  Milhouse Van Houten : A walking clock?

  Nelson Muntz : A walking clock!

  Martin Prince : [to another kid]  I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box.

  Edna Krabappel : Bart, is it a walking clock?

  Bart Simpson : Huh? No, it's my dog.

• Bart Simpson : Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg.

  Principal Skinner : Well... maybe it was for the best.

• Bart Simpson : It's weird, Lise. I miss having Skinner as a friend, but I miss him even more as an enemy.

  Lisa Simpson : I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis. Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty, Mountain Dew has its Mellow Yellow, even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow.

• [Santa's Little Helper has crawled into the vent at Springfield Elementary] 

  Ralph : Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.

  Miss Hoover : Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?

  Ralph : He was going to the bathroom.

• Bart Simpson : [after learning that Skinner has re-enlisted in the army]  Table for one.

  Luigi Risotto : Oh, you miss your friend, huh? Don't you worry. My cooking, she'll-a cheer you up.

  [shows Bart to a table and returns to the kitchen] 

  Luigi Risotto : Eh, Salvatore! Give-a the ugly kid a platter o' red crap!