The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart's Comet (1995)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Lassie Actress, Database, Todd Flanders

Quotes 

• Bart : What's really amazing is this is exactly what Dad said would happen!

  Lisa : Yeah, Dad was right!

  Homer : I know, kids, I'm scared too!

• Principal Skinner : And now to find out who did this... Bart, empty your pockets!

  Bart : Empty my pockets, you say? Well, certainly, but I fail to see...

  Principal Skinner : [looking through the contents]  Blueprints of the dummy... notarized photos of you making the dummy... and an alternate wording for the banner, "Buttzilla."

• Principal Skinner : I've been hoping I could find something that would be named after me.

  Bart : And you've never found anything?

  Principal Skinner : Once, but by the time I got to a phone, my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kahoutek. I got back at him, though. Him and that little boy of his.

• Database : I make it a point never to turn my head unless I expect to see something, Bart.

• Bart : [about constellations]  Who names these things anyway?

  Principal Skinner : Whoever discovers them. I've been hoping I could find something that would be named after me.

  Bart : And you've never found anything?

  Principal Skinner : Once... but by the time I got to the phone, my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kohoutek...

  [a cloud covers the moon; ominous music plays] 

  Principal Skinner : I got back at him, though... him and that little *boy* of his.

  [cloud passes; music ends] 

  Principal Skinner : Anyway, that's why I always keep a cellular phone next to me.

• Homer : [at dinner]  ... and then I sped away without anyone seeing my license plate.

  Lisa : Sounds like you had a good day today, Dad.

  Homer : Yeah... except I forgot to go to work.

  [everyone looks at him silently] 

  Marge Simpson : What did you do today, Bart?

  Bart : What didn't I do?

  [hands his mother a newspaper] 

  Marge Simpson : [reading]  "Boy Discovers Comet"...

  Lisa : What?

  Marge Simpson : "A young Springfieldianite has discovered a new comet to be known as the 'Bart Simpson Comet'." Oh honey, I'm so proud of you!

  Bart : But then, you've *always* been proud of me.

  Marge Simpson : [pauses]  Yes...