The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart's Comet (1995)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Fighter Pilot #1 whilst Parachuting, Report Card, Warren, Grampa, Mayor Quimby, Man in Audience, Arnie Pie, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown

Quotes 

• Homer : Shut up! Shut up! Stop it! Stop it. I can't take this anymore. I can't let that brave man out there die alone. I'm surprised and disgusted by all of you - especially his children. I'm going out there!

  [goes out, slams door behind him, then pops his head back in] 

  Homer : It was a baby ox.

  Moe : He's right, you know.

  Principal Skinner : [surprised]  About the ox?

  Moe : About everything, dammit! Hey Homer, wait up. I want to die too.

  Apu : If you are going, I am going.

  Barney Gumble : Me too!

  [everyone assents and leaves] 

• Bart : What's really amazing is this is exactly what Dad said would happen!

  Lisa : Yeah, Dad was right!

  Homer : I know, kids, I'm scared too!

• Lisa : It blew up the bridge! We're doomed!

  Homer : It's times like this I wish I were a religious man.

  Reverend Lovejoy : [running down the street, crazes]  It's all over, people! We don't have a prayer! AAAHHH!

• Professor Frink : Gu'hey, good evening, everyone...

  Man in Audience : [stands up and yells]  Quit stalling! What's the plan!

  Professor Frink : Alright just take your seat, just take your seat.

• Kent Brockman : Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. Doesn't seem to matter now, so... the following people are gay.

  [a list flashes by hurriedly] 

  Marge Simpson : Turn it off!

  Homer : [copying down the list quickly]  Just a second...

• Homer : [at dinner]  ... and then I sped away without anyone seeing my license plate.

  Lisa : Sounds like you had a good day today, Dad.

  Homer : Yeah... except I forgot to go to work.

  [everyone looks at him silently] 

  Marge Simpson : What did you do today, Bart?

  Bart : What didn't I do?

  [hands his mother a newspaper] 

  Marge Simpson : [reading]  "Boy Discovers Comet"...

  Lisa : What?

  Marge Simpson : "A young Springfieldianite has discovered a new comet to be known as the 'Bart Simpson Comet'." Oh honey, I'm so proud of you!

  Bart : But then, you've *always* been proud of me.

  Marge Simpson : [pauses]  Yes...

• Abe Simpson : Sounds like the doomsday whistle! Ain't been blown for nigh onto three years.

  Jasper : Tsk, tsk, tsk... trouble abrewing.