The Simpsons (TV Series)
Secrets of a Successful Marriage (1994)
Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier
Quotes
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Homer : Look Marge, you don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line! And I'm not out of order. You're out of order. The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge! It's Chinatown!
Marge : Homer, don't EVER tell them personal stuff about me again!
Homer : [nervously] Yes, ma'am!
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Marge : We don't think you're slow... but on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything.
Homer : Do you think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge! They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once - just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves! But they won't! They won't let me live!
[sobs hysterically]
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Homer : Look everyone, now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows.
Marge : Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.
Homer : Correction, Marge.
[He holds up a tweed jacket with two large holes in the back]
Homer : Two perfectly good jackets.
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Reverend Lovejoy : Get a divorce.
Helen Lovejoy : Mmm-hmmm.
Marge : But isn't that a sin?
Reverend Lovejoy : Um, Marge, just about everything is a sin.
[holds up a Bible]
Reverend Lovejoy : Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.
