"The Dick Van Dyke Show" A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise (TV Episode 1963) - Morey Amsterdam as Buddy Sorrell

Buddy Sorrell : My mother-in-law is spending the month with us for a couple days.
Mel Cooley : Did you want to see me Rob? I've only got a second.

Buddy Sorrell : A second with you is like a year with an ugly mob.
Sally Rogers : Rob, if she were planning a surprise party, she certainly wouldn't let you hear her inviting everybody.

Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, and she wouldn't have you invitin' Mel.

Rob Petrie : No, that's just exactly what she WOULD do. You see, what she's doing, in chess, is called the double-reverse half-truth check-your-mate gamble. I'm gonna play right along with her and let her check her mate, that's all.

Sally Rogers : Well, you may be right, Sebastian, but I think she's employing the old I-planned-to-give-him-a-surprise-party-but-the-rat-found-out-about-it-so-I-changed-my-plans bit.

Buddy Sorrell : Hey, I don't know which one of you guys is right, but there's a free meal in there some place and I'M GOIN'.
Sally Rogers : Did you know that Rob is having a birthday this weekend?

Buddy Sorrell : Seems to me like he just had a birthday about a year ago same time.

Sally Rogers : Most people do.

Buddy Sorrell : Oh yeah, so how come you haven't had a birthday since...

Sally Rogers : It's because I only announce them once every other year
Buddy Sorrell : You know we only work when we're threatened.

Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell