The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

All About Eavesdropping (1963)

Jerry Paris: Jerry Helper

Quotes 

• [in a game of Charades, Jerry and Rob try to guess a song title, responding to Laura's violent pantomimes] 

  Jerry Helper : The whole thing? Okay. Uh, march!

  Rob Petrie : Yeah. Walk. Stomp! Stomp all over people! Walk all over people! Goose step! Treachery. Treachery. Two-faced. Two-faced. Stab! Stab in the back, stab in the back!

  [Laura points to Millie and Jerry] 

  Jerry Helper : Uh... Uh, point! Point! Finger! Finger!

  Rob Petrie : Accuse, indict, uh, malicious accusory.

  [Laura grabs Millie and Jerry's faces] 

  Rob Petrie : Two-faced, that's right. Pearl Harbor! I GOT IT!

  Jerry Helper : What is it?

  Rob Petrie : "On the Street Where You Live!"

  Laura Petrie : Right!

  Jerry Helper : [snatching up the paper with the answer]  Hey, that IS right!

• Jerry Helper : Hey, Rob, let's play "Who Am I", huh? Who am I?

  Rob Petrie : We gave you that vase, too.

  Jerry Helper : I know, I know, thanks. Who am I?

  Rob Petrie : [muttering]  You're not Eleanor Roosevelt, I'll tell you that for sure.

  Jerry Helper : Come on. Who am I? Let's play. What do you say, Rob?

  Millie Helper : [long, uncomfortable pause]  Let's play charades!

  Jerry Helper : Charades! Everybody loves charades! Hey, I got it. Laura, Rob and I, we'll be on one team, and Millie, Sally and Buddy, you're on the other.

  Millie Helper : Charades all right, Rob? Laura?

  Laura Petrie : It's your house.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : You didn't give them the house?

• Jerry Helper : Well, let's face it, Honey, Rob is no Albert Schweitzer either.

• Buddy Sorrell : I know what's bothering them.

  Sally Rogers , Jerry Helper : What?

  Buddy Sorrell : They need on-the-spot relief from acid indigestion.

• Jerry Helper : Do, uh... do you say nasty things about us?

  Rob Petrie : Well, let me, uh, put it this way, Jerry - we say less nasty things about you than we do about any of our other neighbors.