Soap (TV Series)
Episode #1.1 (1977)
Katherine Helmond: Jessica Tate
Photos
Quotes
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Chester Tate : Just coffee, Benson.
Jessica Tate : Ah, dear, it's Eggs Benedict!
Chester Tate : Jessica, do you know the cholesterol count of that? You might just as well get a gun and put it to my head!
Benson DuBois : Now you're talking!
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Jessica Tate : For the dinner party tonight, I think I'd like for you to make Beef Wellington.
Benson DuBois : Forget it.
Jessica Tate : Why?
Benson DuBois : I don't like it.
Jessica Tate : But it's very good. It's Mr. Tate's favorite.
Benson DuBois : It ain't mine. I don't like it, so I ain't making it. I'm making fish.
Jessica Tate : Mr. Tate hates fish.
Benson DuBois : I know!
Jessica Tate : Well then, why are you making it?
Benson DuBois : Because I like fish more than I like Mr. Tate!
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Jessica Tate : Nobody ate any eggs.
Benson DuBois : Mm-hmm.
Jessica Tate : Benson, perhaps on your day off, you'd like to take them home?
Benson DuBois : [patronizing grin] Oh, I'd sure like that, Miz Tate! We just LOVES 3-day-old Eggs Benedict down in the ghetto! The little children can use them for hockey pucks!
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Eunice Tate : Corinne never comes home, Mother. I mean, does anyone even know if Corinne is still living in this house?
Jessica Tate : Oh, don't be silly, dear! Of course she's living here. Her mail comes here!
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The Major : If my gun hadn't jammed, I'd have got him this time. Damned German patrol parties!
Jessica Tate : There isn't a patrol party, Dad. It's our neighbor, Mr. Kirby.
The Major : You expect me to believe our neighbor is a Nazi?
Jessica Tate : Of course he's not a Nazi! He just drives a Mercedes.
The Major : [to Chester] Colonel, who is this woman?
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Peter 'The Tennis Player' : Good ol' Chester has probably boffed a secretary or two in his day!
Jessica Tate : [confused] Boffed?
Peter 'The Tennis Player' : Yeah. Chester's a guy.
Jessica Tate : What is boffed?
Peter 'The Tennis Player' : It's, uh... it's what we just did, sweetheart.
Jessica Tate : Oh! I didn't know you called it that.
Jessica Tate : [laughing] To boff. That sounds like a name you'd give a puppy. Here, Boff, here Boff!