- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Marion just showed Fonzie his motorcycle's rear-view mirror, which was hidden under a dish towel] Why that's my rea... MY BIKE!
- [Run's outside, then is heard screaming about 5 seconds later]
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Standing next to a pile of mangled parts that was once his motorcycle] I can't fix this! I may be a mechanic, but I'm not a miracle worker!
- Howard Cunningham: Fonzie? It's just a motorcycle!
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Calmly] Just a motorcycle, huh Mr. C? Let me tell you a little story. When I was young, I was a complete nerd, okay? I tried everything to be cool. Nothing I tried worked, and then
- [walks over to a picture of his bike and takes it off the wall]
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: it came along. It changed my whole life. It's the whole reason for me to live. Just a motorcycle, eh? And I suppose your mother was just a mother?
- Richie Cunningham: [Comes back in the house] I just saw something funny. Fonz's motorcycle. It's not out there. But I did find an exhaust pipe in the mailbox.
- Marion Cunningham: [Howard went outside to look, and comes back in holding one of the rear-view mirrors from his bike] Where'd you find that?
- Howard Cunningham: It fell out of the tree.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Referring to Ralph's offer to sell his car to buy the new bike he's showing him] Nah, you don't have to do that. I'll pay for the bike myself.
- Ralph Malph: [Excited] What a pal! What a pal!
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You're gonna work with me down at the garage until it's paid for, though.
- Ralph Malph: [Way less enthused] What a pal. What a pal.
- Richie Cunningham: You ran over Fonzie's bike.
- Ralph Malph: I didn't see it! He never parks in the street, always in the driveway, never in the street. Why did he park it in the street?
- Richie Cunningham: Ralph, all that damage. How did you do all that?
- Ralph Malph: Well, after I ran over it the first time...
- Richie Cunningham: How many times did you run over it?
- Ralph Malph: It's hard to say. The whole night is a blur. You see, I ran over it and I panicked. Then I backed up over it. It got caught in my back wheels, and I just lost my head. I kept trying to get out of there. I was in fourth gear before I realized I wasn't moving. My wheels were spinning and spinning and grinding and grinding. It was awful, just awful! Motorcycle all over the place!
- Richie Cunningham: Ralph, there was an exhaust pipe in the mailbox. In the mailbox, Ralph. Now how do you account for that?
- Ralph Malph: I don't know. I thought maybe if I could just hide it...
- Marion Cunningham: What's the matter, Richard?
- Richie Cunningham: Out there. It's terrible!
- Marion Cunningham: What's terrible?
- Richie Cunningham: Fonzie's motorcycle.
- Marion Cunningham: Did he park it in the driveway again? Your father gets so upset. Now he promised to park it in front of the house. Is it in the driveway?
- Richie Cunningham: Yes, it's in the driveway. And it's in the street, and it's in the yard, and it's in the flower garden. And there's an exhaust pipe in the mailbox!
- Marion Cunningham: Somebody tried to mail his motorcycle?
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: I gotta go now.
- Howard Cunningham: [pointing at the motorcycle] Yeah. But wait a minute. You can't leave this in my living room.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Now wait a minute. I don't think you understand. I have been sitting in that chair for six hours. When I say I gotta go, I Gotta go!