Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Bill Hader: Brian Bretter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian : You don't need to put your P in a V right now.

  Peter Bretter : No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.

  [Blow my Load on someone's Titties.] 

• Brian : You gotta get your shit together, man.

  Peter Bretter : I'm trying to. It's so hard here. Brian, everywhere I look I'm reminded of her, okay? Like, she got me this, okay because I would always leave my cereal boxes open, and the cereal would get stale, and so one day I came home, and she had this waiting for me, because it keeps my cereal fresh. And now I have the freshest cereal.

• Brian : Look. Liz and I, we think the world of Sarah. We think she's great. But, and I'm just being honest here, every time she would come over to our house, she always acted, you know, like a... like a little bitch. Okay, okay, okay, pump the brakes.

  Peter Bretter : Dating Sarah is not like dating Liz, okay? Sarah is better than Liz!

  Brian : You really want to have this conversation? Do you really want to have this conversation?

  Peter Bretter : Yes.

  Brian : [screaming]  She is the mother of my unborn child!

  Peter Bretter : [meekly]  Sorry.

  Brian : You're my step-brother! We're not even blood! I have no qualms with sticking you! I will equalize you!

  Peter Bretter : Sorry.

  Brian : You dick!

• Brian : What's up with that hat... what are you in the Buena Vista Social Club?

  Peter Bretter : This is a nice hat.

  Brian : What member of the brat pack are you? You look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK.

• Peter Bretter : [to Anne and her friend]  I find you both sexually attractive.

  Brian : Wrap it up.

  Peter Bretter : [to Anne and her friend]  I want to have sexual activity with either of you

  [Anne begins laughing] 

  Peter Bretter : I just came out of a five year relationship so I'm not looking for anything serious, just sexual activity.

  Brian : Pump the brakes.

  Peter Bretter : [to Anne's friend]  You wanna come home with me

  [to Anne] 

  Peter Bretter : You wanna come home with me?

  Ann at the Bar : [laughing]  You're cracking me up!