- Mr.Bradford Milbanks: [to the students] Before we leave for the international scholastic competition in Germany, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. Your outstanding academic records are responsible for the five of you being...
- [notices Gordo's presence within the group]
- Mr.Bradford Milbanks: Just a minute: what are you doing here, Leiter? You're not one of the five finalists.
- Gordon 'Gordo' Leiter: Yeah, well, I know, Mr.Milbanks, but I... I bought a ticket 'cause I hear the surfing in the south of Germany is totally gnarly.
- Mr.Bradford Milbanks: [to Coach Mitchell] Oh, dear. The south of Germany is in the middle of the European continent, not on the oceans.
- Coach Mitchell: Now you see why Gordo isn't a finalist, sir.
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: Hello, anybody there? Oh, I'm in luck. Maybe one of those men can help me.
- [walks towards Nick Nack and Skullcap, disguised as a vampire and a werewolf, respectively]
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: [without noticing the costumes] Excuse me, have either of you seen an obnoxious British teenager named Bond?
- Quizzer: What is the name of the part of your body which makes up the olfactory system?
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: Oh, that's simple. It's the... the earlob.
- [the Warfield students moan]
- Quizzer: I'm sorry. The correct answer is the nose. Heiberg academy is the winner!
- [the German students cheer]
- Mr.Bradford Milbanks: [furious] Oh, how could you miss such a simple question, Nose-worthy?
- Phoebe Farragut: [to Trevor] Yeah, the answer was as plain as the... nose on your face.
- Gordon 'Gordo' Leiter: Yeah, I thought you were the one who said... nose... everything.
- James Bond Jr.: [cheering up Trevor] Don't let it bother you, Trev. We came very close. We just lost by... a nose.
- Dr.Derange: Excellent choice of door, Bond. You've chosen my favourite room: I call it the shish kebab suite. Pleasant screams!
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: [waking on an operating table] Oh, where am I ? Oh, I must have dozed off in studying too hard. What a frightful dream. Garly! What an active imagination I have. This chap looks like a real killer. It's a good thing I'm only dreaming!
- [Professor Frederick attaches a helmet to Trevor's head]
- Dr.Derange: I've got good and bad news for you, young man.
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: [worried] W-What is it?
- Dr.Derange: The good news is: what the professor here is going to do to you will only destroy half of your brain cells.
- Trevor Noseworthy IV: And what's the bad news?
- Dr.Derange: You're not dreaming.
- [bursts into manic laughter]