American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006 Video)
John White: Erik Stifler
Photos
Quotes
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Tracy : [21:50] You took a crap in my dryer!
Erik Stifler : Your dad scared the shit out of me!
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Erik Stifler : Look, I'm sorry about my Dad giving you that wedgie in front of everybody.
Mr. Levenstein : Well, your Dad has been doing that to me since we were kids, and strangely enough, I enjoy it.
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Erik Stifler : This is special to you, right? I mean this weekend? This night?
Brandy : Erik!
Erik Stifler : Yes?
Brandy : This is sex, not Shakespeare.
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Erik Stifler : I'm a virgin.
Mr. Levenstein : Ok, can I stop you there? You're a Stifler AND a virgin?
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Mr. Stifler : [12:54] Stifflers do not fake being sick to sit a home and pull dick. We cut class to get ass!
Erik Stifler : Yes, I know. That saying is on the family crest.
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Brandy : Take off your shirt.
Erik Stifler : Excuse me?
Brandy : Well, I want to take the stain out.
Erik Stifler : Oh yeah. Right. I knew that.
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Erik Stifler : Are you sure you want to do this, because I doubt I will be very good.
Brandy : Don't worry. I know how to handle guys like you.
Erik Stifler : Guys like me?
Brandy : Virgins? I can take care of virgins.
Erik Stifler : You mean I'm not your first virgin?
Brandy : I have a bit of a confession... Some girls like blondes, some like muscles, I like virgins!
Brandy : Are you ready for a special night?
[Brandy and Erik kiss]
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Erik Stifler : I swear to God I was through the street with nylons on my head and a condom still on.
Erik Stifler : I can't believe I just told you that story.
Brandy : I think it's great!
Brandy : I mean, look at it this way, you'll never forget your first time.
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[Erik gets distracted while staring at a naked female student and runs into a mailbox, then Brandy comes to help him]
Brandy : Are you alright?
Erik Stifler : I'm fine.
Brandy : C'mon sweetie! Lets finish this thing!
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Dwight Stifler : So, are you ladies ready to run this Naked Mile and get extra fuckin' sexy?
Jill : Hell yeah!
Dwight Stifler : What about you guys?
Brandy : Yeah, what are you guys doing still dressed?
Erik Stifler : Well, we figured we would just watch the mile then meet you guys at the party afterwards.
Alexis : Well, that's too bad because this Naked Mile is going to be crazy!
Jill : Really crazy! Right Brandy?
Brandy : Absolutely out of control!
Brandy : [Brandy, Jill, and Alexis take off all of their clothes, then Erik, Cooze, and Ryan take off all of their clothes]
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Erik Stifler : I haven't seen you since my parent's New Year's party.
Mr. Levenstein : Well, your parents really, really know how to ring in the New Year!
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Bull : Stifler! We got a serious problem, man. Mike and the guys just got arrested trying to steal a monkey from the zoo.
Dwight Stifler : So what's the problem? Just take the money from my bail fund.
Bull : They're almost half of our football team. We gotta put a team on the field, man, or we are done.
Erik Stifler : Why?
Bull : Cause we are already on probation. We got to participate in every intermural event or we are kicked off campus, man. We are four guys short.
Ryan : I play football.
Cooze : I played freshman year.
Bull : What about you?
Erik Stifler : A little nerf here and there.
Bull : Good enough.
Bull : Stifler?
Dwight Stifler : Mmm?
Bull : Can you play?
Dwight Stifler : Don't ever ask if Stifler can play!
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Dwight Stifler : Hey, cousin. How are you?
Erik Stifler : I'm fine, Dwight. Are you ok?
Dwight Stifler : Yeah, I'm great. Hey, I heard you killed Grandma with your cumshot.
[Ryan and Cooze chuckling]
Dwight Stifler : That sucks, man.
