The Nines (2007)

Ryan Reynolds: Gary, Gavin Taylor, Gabriel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gary : Um, I'm kind of having a medical situation. I don't have a belly button.

• Gavin : [to a cameraman following him]  I'm not going to be your fucking puppet!

  Streetwalker : Are you alright?

  Gavin : Yeah, I'm fine.

  Streetwalker : Who are you talking to?

• Gary : Are you saying I'm God?

  Margaret : Technically, no. If God is a ten, a theoretical ultimate, that-which-no-greater-can-be-imagined, you're more of a nine.

  Gary : So what are you?

  Margaret : Humans are sevens. Monkeys are sixes.

  Gary : What are the eights?

  Margaret : Koalas. They're telepathic. Plus, they control the weather.

  Margaret : What's important is that you, you're the big cheese. El Supremo. You could destroy the world with a single thought.

• Margaret : Good night, buttface!

  Gary : Good night, you filthy whore!

• Gary : Hey, is this crack? Do you know how to do it?

• Margaret : You're not going to understand this yet, but we've known each other for like twenty-five years. One day when I was twelve, you called me out of the blue and we've been talking ever since.

  Gary : Talking?

  Margaret : On the phone, usually.

• Gary : This is all a dream?

  Margaret : No.

  Gary : I'm in a coma?

  Margaret : No.

  Gary : I'm dead? This is hell or purgatorium or something?

  Margaret : Okay, purgatorium is where Romans vomited, but no, this is as real as anything can be.

  Gary : What does that mean?

  Margaret : Everything is what it is. You're not who you think you are.

• Melissa : I feel so dirty.

  Gavin : That's how I like it.

• Gavin : I have all these characters inside my head and they want to live.

• Gabriel : Look, I'm not some crazy Ted Bundy guy. I'm not going to rape or kill you or anything... which is of course what Ted Bundy would say.

• Sierra : You're a crackhead, G. Thing is, this planet and these people are your drug of choice. It wasn't that hard to make a universe. At first, you just checked in every once in a while, see how the Neanderthals were doing, move a couple of continents around. But then you got more into it. You started playing a couple of characters of your own. Slaves, kings, messiah, priest. Soon, you were playing 24/7.

  Gabriel : How long have I been...

  Sierra : You've been gone for four thousand years. Not that time means the same for us.

  Gabriel : You came looking for me.

  Sierra : That's what a girl does.

  Gabriel : Why now?

  Streetwalker : Because you forgot who you were.

  Agitated Man : You forgot this wasn't real.

  Sierra : We couldn't just storm in on a fiery chariot. It was your universe. We had to play by your rules. We had to show you how limited and corrupt your little world was. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place, it's cozy. But do you remember where you came from? Do you remember where you came from?

  Gabriel : It was warm and white, like...

  Agitated Man : You can't describe it with human words.

  Streetwalker : You can't think it with human thoughts.

• Margaret : Okay, just so it's said, this house IS flammable.

  Gary : I didn't mean to burn down my house.

  Margaret : Yeah, and I didn't mean to eat my way into a 10-year shame spiral, but I did. And it's healthier to acknowledge it.

• [first lines] 

  Gary : Hey, do you sell crack?

  [drug dealer looks confused] 

  Gary : No, it's cool. I only play a cop on TV.

• Margaret : I'll be coming by twice a day to check up on you. I should be the only person coming by. No pals, no buddies, no heroin dealers.

  Gary : I don't do heroin.

  Margaret : Yeah, crack is classy. Hmmm. But I'm not buying you porn. There's pay-per-view or cable.

  Gary : [sarcastically]  Great, because I really wasn't concerned about my career, family, or future. I just wanted to jerk off.

• Sarah : When I was a little girl, our house caught on fire.

  Gary : Oh shit.

  Sarah : I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building and out onto the pavement. I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was over, I said to myself "is that all there is to a fire?"

• Margaret : It's incredible.

  Gary : Whenever I see them, it's like... damn...

  Margaret : I was born at the wrong time.

• Gavin : As soon as I got back, I just feel like... I feel like there's someone else there. And then last night, I thought I heard something, like a woman singing.

  Melissa : What like a ghost? A singing ghost?

  Gavin : I guess. And then I saw something; I actually ran into someone. I saw...

  Melissa : Was it the singing ghost?

  Gavin : It was a man.

  Melissa : Oh.

  Gavin : I think it was me.

  Melissa : Your house is haunted by yourself?

• Gavin : Hey.

  [Susan holds up her finger to signal him to wait while she talks on the phone] 

  Gavin : No, I'll break your fucking finger!

• Gabriel : [to Mary]  Who do you think you married, MacGyver?

• Sierra : So you play a lot of characters at once?

  Gabriel : Well, a couple. Most people do.

  Sierra : But you're not most people. You created the world. You know all the secret codes.

  Gabriel : Like God-mode?

  Sierra : Is that what you call it?

  Gabriel : That's when you have all the powers and can't be killed. It's actually really boring to play, though.

• Gabriel : I guess I'm more worried about the human factor. You guys kill each other a lot.

  Mary : In fairness it's usually in your name. Plus, we've gotten much more efficient at it.

  Gabriel : I like this world. I like my life here with you and Noelle.

  Mary : It's not real. I'm not really your wife. You're not really my husband. On some level it's all pretend. How many versions were there?

  Gabriel : Ninety. This is the last one.

  Mary : Wow.

  Gabriel : I've destroyed billions of people with a thought, and you like to think that it's painless?

  Mary : Stop. You don't have to explain or apologize. Everything that is is because of you. And if that's all there is, that's enough.