The Love Guru (2008)
Verne Troyer: Coach Punch Cherkov
Photos
Quotes
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Coach Punch Cherkov : What's the capital of Thailand?
Guru Pitka : Bangkok.
Coach Punch Cherkov : Exactly.
[punches Pitka in his groin]
Guru Pitka : Omar Sharif, my balls!
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Guru Pitka : [picks up Coach Cherkov] I'd like to thank the Academy. Wow, these things are heavy. Yeah.
Coach Punch Cherkov : Put me down, a-hole!
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Guru Pitka : [notices Coach Cherkov behind him and freaks out] This little guy scared the crap out of me. I think I'm gonna have to do a panty check. I might have some monkey-mustard back there. No, I am good.
Coach Punch Cherkov : [to Jane] Who is this prick?
Guru Pitka : Well, how do you do? Shrimp?
Coach Punch Cherkov : What did you call me, jagamo?
Guru Pitka : I'm sorry, I didn't catch your gnome. Name! You are a midget.
Coach Punch Cherkov : I find that term condescending!
Guru Pitka : Condescending. That's a *big* word for you.
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Angry Fan : Boo! You suck Bullard!
Jane Bullard : No you suck! You can say bad things about me but I won't say bad things about myself! So guess what? You can all just kiss my... Canadian ass!
[crowd cheers]
Jane Bullard : Cherkov, Pitka's coming you have to...
Coach Punch Cherkov : Are you as turned on as I am right now?
Jane Bullard : You're a bad bad person.
Coach Punch Cherkov : I'll take that as a yes!
Jane Bullard : Pitka's coming just stall! Ew!
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Coach Punch Cherkov : If I sit like this any longer, I'm gonna pop my dink bag.
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Jane Bullard : Can we win the Cup without Roanoke?
Coach Punch Cherkov : Not a chance, boss. As long as Jacques "Le Coq" Grande is banging Darren's wife, Darren's toast.
Jane Bullard : My father once told me the Yankees hired a guru to turn their team around. I have our guru. If he can fix Darren, we win the Cup. They call him: The Love Guru.
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Jane Bullard : [singing] He's a picker, He's a grinner, He's a lover, And he's a sinner, He plays his music in the sun
Guru Pitka : I'm a joker, I'm a smoker
Coach Punch Cherkov : I'm a midnight toker
Guru Pitka , Jane Bullard : I get my lovin' on the run...