Religulous (2008)

Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda: Self

Quotes 

• Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : You know, if I discover that I was Satan in person, I would do a good job, too.

  Bill Maher : As Satan?

  Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : Because I would be faithful to my calling.

  Bill Maher : It's how you do your work, isn't it? You know, at the end of the day, whether you're the messiah or you're Satan, it's loving what you do and giving it a hundred percent.

  Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : I give hundred percent.

• Bill Maher : Who are you?

  Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : I am Jesus Christ man. The second coming. The Old Testament talk about me clearly. And the New Testament also.

• Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : [to his congregation]  Anyone who thinks I'm the Antichrist is miserable! Anyone who does not believe in me is miserable!

• Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : I knew a young man who was about to go crazy over a woman, he was about to kill himself. I said "That passion, you should give to God! Turn that to God and see what happens".

  [clip of a suicide bombing] 

• Bill Maher : It's such a powerful position, I mean you hold people's greatest hopes and dreams in the palm of your hand, really. Certainly some of the young women must get a crush on you?

  Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : [voice goes higher]  Umm... Probably. I would too if I was out there. If I was a woman I'd probably have a crush on me too.

  Bill Maher : That's keeping it real!

  Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda : Now I can advise other young men about women. Because I've been there. I had a young man who was about to go crazy over a woman, he was about to kill himself, you know? I said "That kind of passion, you should have for God!" I said "Turn that to God, and see what happens!"

  [Clip of a suicide bombing]