- Clarence Rutherford: What are you staring at me for, Gilbert?
- Gilbert Bates: Well, my mother keeps telling me not to grow up like you and I just wanted to see what she meant.
- Wally Cleaver: Dad's taking over. He's going to help Beaver all this week.
- June Cleaver: Well, I hope these homework sessions are going to be after supper.
- Ward Cleaver: Why do you say that?
- June Cleaver: You know Beaver can't eat properly if he's crying!
- Ward Cleaver: [to Eddie, when Eddie calls to confess to changing Beaver's grade on his report card] Well, Eddie. That was about the worst joke I ever heard of!