Leave It to Beaver (TV Series)
Teacher Comes to Dinner (1959)
Jerry Mathers: The Beaver
Photos
Quotes
-
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Nothing in here could poison anybody, could it, Mom?
June Cleaver : Why, of course not, Beaver!
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Larry said Miss Landers might eat something and get toenail poisoning.
June Cleaver : You mean ptomaine poisoning?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, he said if she got it, she might get mad and flunk me and stuff.
-
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : My mother invited Miss Landers to dinner.
Larry Mondello : To eat?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Sure. You can't invite somebody to dinner without letting them eat.
Larry Mondello : Boy, Beaver, this could be the worst thing that ever happened to you in your whole life.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Well, I knew it could be, but I didn't know why yet.
Larry Mondello : Because when the other guys hear about it, they're gonna say you're just trying to be the teacher's pet.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : But gee, Larry, you're not gonna tell them.
Larry Mondello : Oh, that's right. But look at all the other junk that could happen. What if your mom cooked her something that gave her toenail poisoning?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Gee, I don't think my mom would poison a teacher.
-
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : [all dressed up, and very nervous about his teacher coming to dinner] Hey, Wally, what are you doing just lying there?
Wally Cleaver : I'm not doing anything. I'm just lying here.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : You wouldn't want to take a bath, would you?
Wally Cleaver : Now why would I want to do that? Coach made us take a shower after practice.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Gee, it wouldn't hurt you to take another one. I found this soap in the linen closet. I thought you might want to use it.
Wally Cleaver : Gee, Beaver, that stuff smells like flowers.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Well it wouldn't hurt you to smell like flowers just for one night.
Wally Cleaver : Cut it out, Beaver. This is your teacher. Why should I have to smell good?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Gee, Wally, I'd take an extra bath for you sometime, if it was important enough.
Ward Cleaver : [later, just before Miss Landers arrives] Well, you dressed already, Beaver?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : Yeah, dad. How do I look?
Ward Cleaver : Well, you look just like a perfect little gentleman.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver : You want to smell me?
Ward Cleaver : No, I'll do that later.