- Earl Smith: Half the people in town are nitwits now... you take that in there, they're all gonna be brain dead.
- Melvin Pennell: Stick your finger in that, boy.
- Kevin Pennell: It's wet, daddy.
- Melvin Pennell: That's what they call pear pussy. Pear pussy, boy.
- Boss Man Jack Clem: Well, we'd be eatin' Bigfoot steaks by now if you hurry up and kill that big hairy monster runnin' around out there at Dale's place.
- Karl Crabtree: I got a tube steak for you.
- Boss Man Jack Clem: Yeah, looks more like a vienna sausage to me.
- Karl Crabtree: See! I told you! That wasn't no bear I shot at. I ain't crazy. It was some sort of wild, crazy man out there. Some... half breed.