Saved by the Bell (TV Series)
Save the Max (1990)
Dustin Diamond: Samuel 'Screech' Powers
Quotes
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Zack : Goo-oo-oo-oo-ood morning, Bayside! Hey, and all you kids cuttin' school in the Palisades and at the beach, this is Wolfman Zack.
[Points to Screech, who then howls like a wolf]
Zack : Hey, it's Bayside's freshest, hottest, hippest new station, KKTY-FM, Tiger Radio!
[Points to Screech, who then roars like a tiger]
Jessie : [Cuts to Jessie's segment] Bad food hits Bayside, students hit bathrooms. This is Jessie Spano for KKTY News. I caught up with Mr. Belding running out of the cafeteria today, and he assured me that green meat would no longer be served.
Lisa : [Cuts to Lisa's segment] Hi, this is Lisa, your Galloping Gossip, with everyone you wanna know that's none of your business. Flash! Debbie DeMarco's new curves came with Debbie's new sweater.
Kelly Kapowski : [Cuts to Kelly's segment] Hello, this is Kelly Desire. It's evening, the candles are lit, and you're with the one you love. All that's missing is that special romantic song.
[Points to Screech, who puts on a rock 'n' roll record, she grimaces]
Screech : [Cuts to Screech's segment; he speaks with a strange accent] Thunder and lightning raged outside the old Victorian house. There was a scream...
[Screams]
Screech : Evelyn's heart pounded...
[Imitates heart beat by hitting his chest]
Screech : as she slowly opened the bedroom door.
[Imitates creaking door]
Screech : She saw an axe, and recognised the face of...
Zack : [Stops background music] Well, that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for another excitement installment of...
Screech : Screech's Mystery Theater!
Zack : And now, look alive, sports fans, 'cause on deck it's Tiger Radio's sportiest reporter, A.C. Slater!
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [In a stilted monotone] Hey. Thanks, Wolfman. Okay. First things first. Let's check out the old scoreboard, huh? I mean, hey, ha, gimme a break, it's not *that* old, right?
[Honks horn, Kelly jumps]
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Anyway. In local, uh, high school action, it was - it was, Bayside 5, Valley 4. I guess that means we won, right Math majors?
[Honks horn again]
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [a while later, the rest of the gang are all clearly bored and tired] This *is* A.C. Slater. And just remember, fans, in the airport of life, sports is just the baggage. Think about it.
[Honks horn, Zack puts music on]
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Right. So what do you think?
Zack : [All exchange glances] Uh... we're thinkin' about it.
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : See, Preppie. I told you I was good.
[Leaves]
Zack : Hey, guys, I think I know what'd help Slater.
Jessie , Lisa , Kelly Kapowski : What?
Zack : A muzzle.
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Zack : [Talking about bringing back the school's old radio station with Mr. Belding] Sir, we'd like to put KKTY back on the air.
Mr. Belding : What?
Screech : [slowly] We... would... like... to...
Mr. Belding : I heard you!
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Lisa : [Talking about Slater's sports broadcast on the radio] Do you think we should be honest and tell him he stinks?
Jessie : How can we without hurting his feelings?
Screech : Why don't we just wave a skunk in front of him?
Zack : You know, Screech, for once you have a good idea.
Kelly : We can't do that. This is Slater's dream.
Jessie : You know, maybe we're being overcritical because we expected him to be better.
Lisa : I hope you're right.
Kelly : I bet the average listener thinks he's just fine.
[Spots three guys walking past the table]
Kelly : Excuse me, what do you guys think of Tiger Radio?
Student #1 : Radical!
Student #2 : Really cool!
Student #3 : The best, man!
Zack : And, uh, what do you think of our sports reporter, A.C. Slater?
Student #1 : Awful!
Student #2 : The worst!
Student #3 : Someone should wave a skunk in front of him.
Screech : [Looking self satisfied] See?
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Jessie : [Lisa and Kelly appear with several copies of the school paper] The school paper just reviewed us!
Lisa : What did they say?
Kelly Kapowski : I dunno, I'm too nervous to look. What if he didn't like my outfit?
Lisa : Lisa, we're on the radio, remember? He can't see us.
Zack : [Each take a paper] Hey, look at this:
[Reading aloud]
Zack : "Tiger Radio really cooks when Wolfman Zack is on the prowl." Hey.
Lisa : [Reading aloud] "Jessie Spano has a nose for news. And I smell a winner."
Jessie : [Reading aloud] "Kelly Desire's voice could heat your jacuzzi. The girl is H-O-T."
Kelly Kapowski : [Reading aloud] "Lisa's Galloping Gossip is off to a fast start. She's funny, charming, and a great dresser."
[Looks at Jessie]
Kelly Kapowski : See?
Zack : This guy really liked us.
Jessie : Uh, most of us.
[Reading aloud]
Jessie : "A.C. Slater stinks."
Lisa : [Reading aloud] "Someone should wave a skunk in front of him"?
Kelly Kapowski : Poor Slater.
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : [Slater appears] Hey, guys! What's up?
[the others move toward the lockers and stand with their backs to them, hiding the papers]
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : What are you doing?
Kelly Kapowski , Zack : Uh...
Kelly Kapowski : We're scratching our backs!
Zack : Yeah, you know, there's an itch going through the school.
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : What?
Screech : Hey, guys! The station just got reviewed!
[Zack groans]
Albert Clifford 'A.C.' Slater : Oh, really? What'd he say about me?
Screech : You stink!