Pee-wee's Playhouse (TV Series)
Ants in Your Pants (1986)
Paul Reubens: Pee-wee Herman
Photos
Quotes
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Pee-wee Herman : [walking up the wall wearing wall-walker shoes] If you don't have wall-walker shoes, please don't try this at home.
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Pee-wee Herman : Randy, what...
[everyone screams]
Pee-wee Herman : ...are you doing?
Randy : Nothin'! I'm smokin'! Wanna drag?
Pee-wee Herman : No, Randy. I don't smoke. Smoking is bad for you.
Randy : So? It makes me look cool.
Pee-wee Herman : No, it doesn't make you look cool, Randy. It makes you look stupid. You're cool already.
Chairry : Yeah, you don't have to smoke to be cool.
Randy : Yeah, but other people do it.
Pee-wee Herman : So, if other people jumped off a high building, would you do that too? Smoking is really bad for your health.
[Randy takes a puff and then coughs]
Pee-wee Herman : See, Randy? Please don't smoke.
Chairry : Please, Randy. I care about you.
Magic Screen : Me too, Randy. Please don't smoke.
Randy : Yeah, maybe you guys are right. Smokin' does make you feel pretty awful.
[he extinguishes the cigarette in an ashtray; everyone cheers]
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Globey : Let's play army.
Miss Yvonne : No. The last time I played army, I got hurt.
Pee-wee Herman : I know. Let's play headhunters.
Jambi : [opens his box] No. I'm not playing headhunters again.
[closes his box]
Miss Yvonne : I know. I have a great idea. Let's play house.
Pee-wee Herman : No, I don't want to play house. That's a girl's game.
Miss Yvonne : Oh come on, Pee-wee. It'll be fun.
Pee-wee Herman : No.
Chairry : Oh come on, Pee-wee.
Globey : It will do you a world of good.
Pee-wee Herman : Beg me!
[everyone begs Pee-wee]
Pee-wee Herman : Well, all right.
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Jambi : What's the matter, Pee-wee? Why so antsy?
Pee-wee Herman : Jambi, I need your help! The ants have escaped from the ant farm!
Jambi : Can you put that in the form of a wish?
Pee-wee Herman : I wish the ants have never gotten out!
Jambi : Spirits, help us before things get worse. Jambi commands the ants to reverse.
[the wish gets granted]
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[Reba enters the Playhouse]
Miss Yvonne : Oh hello, Reba.
Pee-wee Herman : Hi, Reba. We were just playing *house*. I'm the daddy.
Miss Yvonne : And I'm the mommy.
Globey , Pterri : And we're the babies.
Reba : Well, uh... I'm the grandmother, but I'm on my way to Miami for vacation.
[giggles]
Reba : Bye-bye.
[exits]
Miss Yvonne , Globey , Pterri : Bye, grandma!
[Globey and Pterri pretend to cry]
Pee-wee Herman : Why are you crying, children.
Globey , Pterri : We miss grandma.
Miss Yvonne : What?
[everyone screams]