Semi-Pro (2008)
Tim Meadows: Cornelius Banks
Quotes
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Cornelius Banks : [to Lou] You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey.
[long silence]
Lou Redwood : [coldly] Did you just call me a jive turkey?
[Cornelius shakes his head]
Jackie Moon : No. No, he did not, he uh... he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?
Cornelius Banks : Yeah, I just called you cocksucker.
Lou Redwood : Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.
Dick Pepperfield : No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.
Lou Redwood : Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!
Jackie Moon : Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?
Bobby Dee : He just said you suck cock!
Dick Pepperfield : That's all he said about you!
Jackie Moon : Come on. Dig into that fondue... little cocksucker.
[laughs]
Lou Redwood : We like playing games, don't we?
Jackie Moon : It's true, we're playing one right now.
Lou Redwood : I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in FUCKIN' NAM!
[Lou draws his gun and aims it at Cornelius]
Lou Redwood : Who's the jive turkey now?
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Jackie Moon : [jokingly aiming an unloaded gun at his head] I'll see you fuckers in hell.
[pulls trigger, all laugh]
Bobby Dee : [aiming the gun at Jackie] Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard.
[pulls trigger, all laugh]
Cornelius Banks : Watch this.
Cornelius Banks : [aiming the gun at Lou] I did call you jive turkey.
[pulls trigger, all laugh]
Dick Pepperfield : [aiming the gun at Lou] I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield!
[pulls trigger, all laugh]
Lou Redwood : [laughing] We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true... especially that, more than the rest.
-
[Jackie tosses a gun onto the table. The gun fires a bullet. Everyone ducks as the bullet ricochets across the room]
Jackie Moon : Everybody okay?
Bobby Dee : I think so.
Cornelius Banks : Yeah.
Jackie Moon : I'm fine.
Bobby Dee : Wow!
Dick Pepperfield : We just literally dodged a bullet.
[laughs]
Jackie Moon : [laughing] We sure did!
Jackie Moon : [looks at Cornelius] Except for Cornelius!
[blood starts coming out of Cornelius' arm cast]
Cornelius Banks : [smiling] Woah! I did get shot!