My Name Is Earl (TV Series)

Very Bad Things (2006)

Jason Lee: Earl Hickey

Photos 

Quotes 

• [at the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on] 

  Earl : [voiceover]  When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.

  Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.

  [Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue] 

  Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.

  Earl : It was an accident, Joy...

  [leers at opponent's chest] 

  Earl : I think they're real.

  Joy : [angered]  Oh, so you're on *her* side?

• [Joy has stolen a truck from the Bargain Bag store because they wouldn't refund her $3000] 

  Earl : [horrified]  Stole a truck?

  Joy : [adamant]  Because they wouldn't give me my money back! It was a crime of principal like when Rosa Parks stole that bus!

  Earl : They wouldn't even give you a store credit?

  Joy : No.

  Earl : That doesn't seem fair.

  Joy : Thank you! Which is why you have to help me sell the truck.

  Earl : Sell the truck... Joy, that's against the law.

  Joy : Earl, this is not about the law. It's about right and wrong, and isn't that what your list is about, rights and wrongs? Doing unto others all that Robin Hood/Batman/Jesus stuff?

  Earl : Well you got a good point. The store DID do you wrong. I don't know if Jesus or Batman would sell a truck, but Robin Hood might. Okay, I'll do it. But you're not getting a penny more than three thousand dollars.

  Joy : Of course not! That would be wrong...

• [Earl and Randy are in bed] 

  Earl : Randy, do you think it's my fault joy went to jail? Randy?

  Randy : I'm tryin' to sleep Earl; can't this wait 'til morning?

  Earl : You woke me up last night to ask if monkeys ever worry about their looks.

  Randy : Oh yeah, sorry. Do you think they do?

  Earl : I already told you; if they worried about their looks they'd wear pants.

  Earl : 'Night Randy.

  Randy : 'Night Earl.

• [At the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on] 

  Earl : [voiceover]  When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.

  Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.

  [Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue] 

  Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.

  Earl : It was an accident, Joy...

  [leers at opponent's chest] 

  Earl : I think they're real.

  Joy : [angered]  Oh, so you're on HER side?

• Randy : I'm making a list of rich people with a million dollars we can borrow, for Joy's bail.

  Earl : [Reading Randy's list]  The Beverly Hillbilly's.

  Randy : They're super rich.

  Earl : They're pretend, Randy! Just like Richie Rich and Donald Trump, they're just TV characters.

  Randy : Well... the Jeffersons are real, right? 'Cause we saw Mr. Jefferson at the boat show last year. Remember we gave hm a dollar to say "Weezy"?