Scrubs (TV Series)

My Mirror Image (2006)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox, Mr. Slidell

Quotes 

• Carla : You know, maybe Jordan's right, maybe it's time you start dealing with your anger issues.

  Dr. Cox : Carla, for something to be an issue, it needs to cause a problem. I mean, honestly, aside from having to, by-law, remain thirty feet away from a certain telemarketer who I visited while he was eating his dinner, I don't see the downside.

• J.D. : My life is over.

  Dr. Cox : Oh come on, you gotta focus on the positives. For instance, the medical miracle that is one woman actually impregnating another woman.

  [claps his hands together] 

  Dr. Cox : Sha-daisy!

  [J.D. walks away] 

  Turk : Coincidentally, I have a cousin named Shedaisy.

  Dr. Cox : WHAT?

• Jordan Sullivan : [handing him a fork]  Welcome home, Perry. Here's the new program: You occasionally lift a finger helping with Jack, and I'm gonna try to keep from hating the unborn baby in my belly that's made my ass so big, I can't fit the whole thing on a toilet when I pee eight hundred times a day! I can't.

  Dr. Cox : You love spaghetti. You had some just last night, didn't ya?

  Baby Jack : No, I didn't.

  Dr. Cox : Jordan, the boy is lying to me.

  Jordan Sullivan : Oh, Perry, nobody likes a tattle-tail!

• Dr. Cox : Say, Barbie, have you seen any of the interns around?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Yeah. They did so well at rounds, I'm just letting them watch a show

  [Cox turns his head and sees all the interns watching television] 

  Dr. Cox : Oh... hi, interns.

  All the Interns : [rising their hands, still watching TV]  Hi...

  Dr. Cox : Look... you pretty obviously have short-circuited because the odds of you ever actually having a baby are roughly on a par with me finding the Loch Ness monster in my bathtub!

  Intern : Ssst! I can't hear the TV.

  Dr. Cox : Oke... ah... oh...

  [Cox becomes suddenly mad and throws the TV out the window] 

• Dr. Cox : [Dr. Cox enters in sweaty casual wear]  Gather round, doomed new interns who just paged me! Quick question: What does this outfit tell you?

  Dr. Kelso : You... are entering a Joe Piscopo look-alike contest?

  Dr. Cox : It means that I was just working out -- which, incidentally, is the last remaining activity I have in my adult life that qualifies as "Me Time." Other activities recently crossed off of that list include my morning dump and all showers. You see, my dear son Jack has decided that those are team sports. However, I'm here, and I'm totally psyched to hear whatever the super-de-duper reason is that you paged me.

  Intern : [a male intern with a chart is shoved forward]  Mr. White's chart said to remove his eight stitches, but we counted nine. Should we leave one?

  Dr. Cox : [tranquil fury]  That's it. Every single one of you is gonna run laps around the hallways until I say stop.