- Tracy Jordan: I'm bugging out! I'm bugging out? I'm bugging out!
- Liz Lemon: Tracy! Who is your doctor?
- Tracy Jordan: Dr. Spaceman! Dr. Spaceman!
- Liz Lemon: Oh, brother. Look around. We have to find his medication.
- [finds Tracy's medication, prescribed by Dr. Leo Spaceman]
- Liz Lemon: Wow, Dr. Spaceman. I owe you an apology, Tray.
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: [answering phone] This is Dr. Leo Spa-che-men.
- Tracy Jordan: I have to be charming on Conan tonight. This is my chance to redeem myself with mainstream America.
- Toufer: Okay, well. Just tell us some things about your life, and we'll try to punch it up and make it talk show-worthy.
- Pete: Maybe something about you and your wife.
- Tracy Jordan: Me and my wife like to play rape. She go in the bathroom and do her hair. Then, I'll put on a ski mask...
- Frank Rossitano: Hey, uh, you got anything about being a dad? People eat that garbage up.
- Tracy Jordan: I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son who's still got the biggest ding-dong.
- Pete: No.
- Tracy Jordan: Or I could tell the story of how I met Sharon Stone.
- Pete: What was that?
- Tracy Jordan: I was pooping in the ladies' room at The Ivy...
- Pete: No.
- Kenneth Parcell: Fine. I will try the other location. But frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful.
- Jack: Conan, Tracy's really excited to be back on your show.
- Conan O'Brien: I don't know. He's kind of a loose cannon, and I like to surround myself with people who don't try to stab me.
- Jack: Well, Tracy's feeling a lot better now. He's under a doctor's care.
- Conan O'Brien: That's what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.
- Jack: Conan, this is important to me. So, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way.
- Conan O'Brien: What's the hard way?
- Jack: You do a live Christmas Eve special from Kabul every year until the War on Terror is won.
- Conan O'Brien: Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight, you black Irish bastard.
- Jack: Back at you, red.