Bernie Gozier: King Moses

Quotes 

• [discussing Sailor Duval] 

  King Moses : She'd make you a fine wife, Mr. Slate.

  Slate Shannon : Oh, my, what a fine mess of fish.

• [discussing a missing hotel guest] 

  King Moses : Mr. Slate, I know where Mr. Anderson went.

  Slate Shannon : Oh?

  King Moses : I was outside when he ordered a cab. He asked the cabbie a question and the cabbie gave him an answer.

  Sailor Duval : Let me guess. Question: Where can a fella have a time in this town? Answer: Tina's Palace of Fun.

  Slate Shannon : And how would you know that, my pretty maid?

  Sailor Duval : Oh, I've heard it chuckled about, I have.

  Slate Shannon : You have, huh? Would you like to go take a look?

  Sailor Duval : Oh, I want to!

  Slate Shannon : Figures. Well, get your bib and tucker - I'm taking you dancing.

  Sailor Duval : Bib and tucker... Have you seen my tucker? No. No, I know where it is. Don't move. I know where my tucker is. Don't move. No. Yes, yes, I do.

• [discussing Mrs. Anderson] 

  King Moses : Lady Sailor, I think she's lonely.

  Sailor Duval : Who isn't?

  King Moses : And I think she weeps without tears.

  Sailor Duval : Well, that's the toughest kind of crying. Take it from an old crybaby.

• King Moses : Mr. Slate will soon come back.

  Sailor Duval : How? With his toothbone disconnected from his headbone, his armbone in a sling and a black-and-blue eyeball?

  King Moses : One thing about Mr. Slate - he knows who to go to for first aid.

  Sailor Duval : Me, huh?

  [King Moses grins and nods] 

  Sailor Duval : Well, that's all I am to him - a nurse.

  King Moses : No - much more.