- Andy Barker: Well, if they're coming tonight, let's be ready for 'em.
- Wally: I'll be there for you, Andy. The enemy of my friend is my enemy, my friend.
- Simon: Oh-hohoho a reverse stakeout! We'll probably be here all night.
- [suddenly serious]
- Simon: I don't want any cracks about my retainer.
- Andy Barker: Excuse my French, but I am P.O.'d! And I would like to know what's going on.
- Lew Staziak: I told you about Peter Jacobsmeyer, right?
- Andy Barker: No.
- Lew Staziak: [sighs] Drugs keep my ticker going but my brain's shutting down.
- Lew Staziak: What in hell is that?
- Simon: It's a stakeout, I got coffee.
- Lew Staziak: Coffee?
- [takes a cup]
- Lew Staziak: I'm growing a set of jugs just looking at this thing.
- Andy Barker: Well why do we have to lie about who we are?
- Simon: We need a backstory. Nobody's gonna tell an accountant and a video store manager where she is.
- Loretta's Roomate: [opens door] Yeah?
- Andy Barker: Hi, eh, we're looking for Loretta Crispin. We were hoping that -
- Loretta's Roomate: She went to a bar downtown, the Brunswick House.
- Andy Barker: Oh. Well that's all we want, thanks very much.
- Simon: Hi. We're movie producers. We think she would be perfect on our upcoming film.
- Loretta's Roomate: It's on Figaro or Western Hugh.
- Andy Barker: Yeah, I know that intersection, thank you.
- Simon: Well, it's an underwater action drama about a mutated lion that lives in the ocean and attacks shipping lanes. It's called Sea-Cat!
- Loretta's Roomate: She's wearing a grey silk top, grey skirt, black pearl necklace and matching earings.
- Andy Barker: Sounds like she'll be easy to find, thank you very much.
- Simon: [laughs] I'll bet General Jackson could jog your memory...
- Wally: Finally. I get to administer frontier justice. Today, I am an Americaaaaaaaaan!
- [charges of brandishing a meat cleaver]
- Andy Barker: This is gonna go down fast. Girls like Loretta have a radar for sniffing out the biggest dork in the place...
- Loretta Crispin: Hi there.
- Andy Barker: Oh! Hi, hey!
- Simon: [quoting from the movie 'Death Blimp'] Somebody call the park ranger, they're gonna slam together.
- [imitates a girly scream]
- Loretta Crispin: [trying to get Andy's pants off] Don't you wanna have some fun?
- Andy Barker: [pretending to be drugged] More fun with pants done up...
- Lew Staziak: Wanna make a quick two grand?
- Andy Barker: What are you doing here? It's 3 o'clock in the morning.
- Lew Staziak: Not in Hong Kong it's not.