- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Give me some good news, Abby.
- Abby Sciuto: I'm not pregnant.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Too much information.
- Masoud Tariq: You're a Jew.
- Officer Ziva David: Yes.
- Masoud Tariq: Israeli? Mossad, then.
- Officer Ziva David: I'm working with NCIS.
- Masoud Tariq: So, yes. So now I'm as suspicious of you as you are of me. Is it always going to be this way?
- Officer Ziva David: [sadly] At least in our lifetime.
- [Deputy Barrett walks into Tariq's hospital room]
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: Oh, cozy.
- Officer Ziva David: Can I help you?
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: [looks at Tariq's gunshot wound] You know, a couple more inches to your right, and our "martyr" here could've been living it up with all those vestal virgins.
- [chuckles]
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: You know, it truly is a screwed-up religion where you got to blow yourself up just to get lucky.
- [Ziva twists his arm behind his back]
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: Ow!
- Officer Ziva David: When you insult his religion, you insult mine and your own. Tell him you're sorry.
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: [quietly] Sorry.
- Officer Ziva David: I don't think he heard you.
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: I'm sorry!
- Masoud Tariq: Apology accepted.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Okay, look. I might have been hiding stuff. But it was not secretive. It was just...
- Officer Ziva David: Deceptive.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Sneaky.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Self-preservation. If I'd told you guys I was writing a novel, you would have laughed at me.
- Anthony DiNozzo: True.
- Officer Ziva David: True.
- Officer Ziva David: You brew that in your room?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah.
- Officer Ziva David: You know, it's not even real coffee.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It's coffee.
- Officer Ziva David: I read the label. Roasted chicory, whatever that is.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It's a flower. It's got a taproot like a dandelion. Dried and roasted, it makes for a cheap coffee substitute.
- Officer Ziva David: Well, that's what you're drinking. Cheap motel coffee substitute.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Does that smell like a cheap coffee substitute?
- Officer Ziva David: Well, you brew it in your room.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, yes, I did. With my own grind that I brought from home.
- Officer Ziva David: You bring your own coffee grind on investigations?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Only on overnighters.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Deputy, please remove your trousers.
- Deputy Tyler Barrett: [scoffs] You know what? Screw you, McGee!
- Sheriff Tom Barrett: Tyler...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: If you prefer, I can have Officer David remove them for you.
- Officer Ziva David: I thought the local constabulary searched the house.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not for a bomb factory.
- Officer Ziva David: Hard to miss. Maybe the neighbors were more observant.
- Daryl Hardy: You from Washington?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Special Agent Gibbs. NCIS.
- Daryl Hardy: NCIS? That like the FBI?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Navy and Marines' version.
- Officer Ziva David: Did you hear from Tony last night?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No.
- Officer Ziva David: How about this morning? The only reason I'm asking you is because I called him last night to update him and he didn't pick up the phone. He didn't answer this morning, either.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [sarcastic] Ah, you two got married and didn't tell me.
- Officer Ziva David: No. I know this may sound a bit strange coming from me, but...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, more than a bit, Ziva.
- Officer Ziva David: He's my partner, and I'm concerned.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, okay. So?
- Officer Ziva David: So you sent him back for other reasons than to question Lieutenant Shaheen's commanding officer.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Did I miss the announcement?
- Officer Ziva David: No, I was not made Director of NCIS.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I was thinking more like Secretary of the Navy, because the Director of NCIS would know damn well not to ask me such a stupid question.
- Officer Ziva David: Look, Tony's been very secretive lately, and for a man who can't keep what he had for breakfast a secret, I think it's scary.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What's scary is your persistence.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Don't tell me, probie. Let me guess. Research for the next book?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: No, it's Ruby's evidence report.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Ah. Another work of fiction, then.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: If it is, she's a better writer than I am.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Probie, I have a pimple on my left buttock that is a better writer than you are.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Ziva, I am not secretive.
- Officer Ziva David: Did you hear that, Tony? McGee just said he's not secretive.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Hmm, let's see. Wrote a novel.
- Officer Ziva David: Didn't tell us.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Got it published.
- Officer Ziva David: Didn't tell us.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Made substantial amounts of money from said novel.
- Officer Ziva David: Hmm, didn't tell us.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Anything else?
- Officer Ziva David: Bought a Porsche.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Didn't tell us. Can you see how people might begin to think there was a pattern of secretive behavior emerging here, probie?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Operation Cauldron relocated three Iraqi men from Baghdad to the United States after they supplied intelligence on the insurgency in Baghdad?
- Marine Major Bradley Raines: That's right.
- Officer Ziva David: Masoud Tariq gave you first-class intelligence. In comparison, the other ones gave you far less, Major Raines, but they still came to America.
- Marine Major Bradley Raines: Lieutenant Shaheen...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Wasn't investigating them. She was investigating you. How much did they pay you for their new life in America?
- Marine Major Bradley Raines: I don't know what you're talking about, Agent Gibbs.
- Officer Ziva David: For an intelligence officer, you're not very intelligent.