- Greg Proops: [in "Scene to Rap", set at a school]
- [rapping]
- Greg Proops: Excuse me, son, / Now I'm no palooka, / But you can't come in / and bring that...
- Wayne Brady: [simultaneously with Greg] Bazooka!
- Greg Proops: [rapping] This is school, as you can see. / I'm a principal for thee. / I'm the principal... that's true.
- [talking]
- Greg Proops: And I'm fucking this up, man.
- [hugs Wayne; the audience cheers]
- Greg Proops: [in "Hats"]
- [wearing an alien cap with black hair and red eyes]
- Greg Proops: Well, I'm a Klingon by trade...
- [mild audience laughter]
- Greg Proops: And when I'm NOT funny, I sit here with this fuckin' thing on my head.