Dragon Hunters (2008)

Forest Whitaker: Lian-Chu

Quotes 

• [Lian-Chu and Gwizdo sit by the campfire. Gwizdo is sulking] 

  Lian-Chu : What's the matter, Gwizdo? Are you mad?

  Gwizdo : You think, that for once, you could take your job seriously? It's always the same old circus, Lian-Chu. All you do is clown around for the peanut gallery.

  Lian-Chu : But I don't do it on purpose.

  Gwizdo : [scoffing]  Yeah, it's a blimey good thing too. Why, pray tell, do you think these hicks never pay?

  Lian-Chu : Because they've got no money?

  Gwizdo : No! They rip us off because you're not credible!

  Lian-Chu : What does credible mean?

  Gwizdo : I dunno, eh...

  [He grabs Hector by the arm] 

  Gwizdo : We'll take Hector here, for example. Hector, with his big fangs and all that fur, well, he's credible. And that's why the hicks are scared of him, you get it?

  [Lian-Chu looks puzzled and shrugs] 

  Gwizdo : You don't get it.

  [He absent-mindedly drops Hector] 

  Gwizdo : Hey, look. A dragon hunter who's credible makes the whole earth shake when he walks, right? Like, boom, boom, ba-boom, boom, boom, ba-boom, huh?

  [Hector laughs] 

  Hector : Stupid.

  [Gwizdo smacks Hector upside the head] 

  Gwizdo : And if he has to, he smacks his debtors a couple of times. Bim! Bam! Fork over the money! You get the picture?

  Lian-Chu : Hitting clients? That's being credible?

  [Gwizdo sighs, annoyed] 

  Gwizdo : Another example.

  [He picks up a bag Lian-Chu knitted] 

  Gwizdo : You think it's credible? A dragon hunter who likes to knit?

  Lian-Chu : But I tore a hole in my...

  [Gwizdo snatches Lian-Chu's knitting] 

  Gwizdo : YOU GOT MANDULAR BOOGERS ON THE BRAIN OR WHAT? YOU KNUCKLEHEAD, KNITTING'S SOMETHING OLD LADIES DO!

  [Lian-Chu stands up and raises an arm as though he were about to punch Gwizdo in the face. Gwizdo cowers. Instead, Lian-Chu snatches back his knitting] 

  Lian-Chu : It was my mother who taught me.

  [He storms off] 

• Gwizdo : Look, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean what I said about knitting.

  Lian-Chu : You want a more credible friend. Why don't you go look for one?

  Gwizdo : Don't be ridiculous. I could never find a better friend than you.

  [He sits on the edge of the island next to Lian-Chu] 

  Lian-Chu : You're just saying that so I won't be angry.

  Gwizdo : Stop it. What do you want me to hire as a partner, huh?

  [He gently nudges Lian-Chu's foot] 

  Gwizdo : Fat John of Wickashire?

  [Lian-Chu laughs gently. Gwizdo smiles warmly] 

  Gwizdo : No way. We're a real team, me and you.

• [an exhausted Gwizdo pinches the bridge of his nose] 

  Lian-Chu : Have a bad sleep?

  Gwizdo : Tonight, if you start snorin' again, I'm choppin' off your nose!

• Gwizdo : I can't take it. I'm gonna hang myself.

  [He buries his face in his hands] 

  Lian-Chu : [gently]  They're only blisters. Put some herbs on them.

  Gwizdo : I'm not talkin' about my blisters, I'm talkin' about PRINCESS BLABBERMOUTH!

  [Zoé runs by with Hector] 

  Zoé : A fire! A fire! Let's make a big fire!

  [Gwizdo sobs] 

  Lian-Chu : In any case, did you see how credible I am with her?

  Gwizdo : Yeah, but the idea of being credible, Lian-Chu, was to take Uncle Arnold's money and run, not to play knights and dragons until the end of the world!